Films Not Worthy of a Real Review Part 2

This goes along with a prior post called Films Not Worthy of a Real Review Part 1, which sadly, I couldn't find in any of my blogs. I remember writing it, but not a single movie I put on it, so I guess it was titled appropriately. Well, here's a few more I recently watched that didn't really merit thorough Side Show analyzation:


Zombie Dearest (2009):
From the jump, this had so much potential with it's Shaun of the Dead/Fido antics, but ended up leaving me hanging. Director David Kemker plays the lead role perfectly, along with David Sparrow as Quinto the Zombie, and Shirley Temple-haired Shauna Black rounds it out with her cuteness. Zombie comedies are the rave these days, and this fits in perfectly, even though the ending may leave you a little disappointed.


Hoodoo for Voodoo (2006):
The best thing about this movie was the boobage and catch phrase t-shirts everyone wore, but like many others, fails to entertain outside of that. The gore and dialog were lame, which may have been the intent, but it couldn't even be saved by Linnea Quigley (looking rather old I might add), cameos by Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman, or Tiffany Shepis's boobs.


Hanger (2009):
After watching this, my first impression was to write it off as just another film made to shock, but since then, I can't seem to get it out of my head. It's not a great movie, but does have several WTF? moments, and maybe just enough quirkiness for my appetite. So, I've decided to buy and rewatch it. What I do remember is Debbie Rochon plays a pregnant hooker who's pimp doesn't like the fact that his prize ho has gotten knocked up, so he aborts the baby with a hanger. Baby lives, but is deformed, and the father comes along on his 18th birthday to help rear his son. Boobs, crotch, labia, blood, oddities, this film has it all, but sadly, you'll walk away shaking your head wondering what train wreck you just watched. This is the same director that did Gutterballs, which I reviewed.


Home Movie (2008):
This is about a twin brother and sister who start mutilating animals, and then a friend, and then their parents, who somewhat ironically, are a minister and therapist. Hand-held cam type of movie that was an hour and a half of wasted time. I was excited when this finally got released outside of the IFC/Blockbuster circuit, but it ended up being easily forgotten. Watch Ghost House Underground's The Children, or the original Children of the Corn (not that crappy Syfy remake) instead.


Penanace (2009):
Penance had several boobs, but is some kind of a Nazi/Ilsa/Martyrs purification movie about strippers who get drugged, locked up, and tortured in order to purify their souls. Another movie intended to shock, which is portrayed in a scene where a guy cuts out this chick's clitoris (no close ups) and puts it a jar with others, and then cuts off his nuts and puts them in a jar. This may disgust or be shocking to some, but I thought it was quite ridiculous. Then again, I'm kinda numb to most things intended to make my eyes pop out, make me piss or crap myself, or make me vomit. Don't confuse this with August Underground's movie of the same name, which really, isn't any better.

And so, my search for Movie of the Year continues...

Jason Plays a Mean Triangle (You Tube Short)

Well, if I can't find time to post movie reviews, maybe I can entertain you with random crap. Some may be movie related, some not, but thanks to the blog Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, we see Freddy and Jason's musical (and bilingual) talents.

Fallout (2009)-Moonlight Films-Hutchinson, KS

Coming to DVD in 2010 will be Hutchinson, Kansas' own, Fallout. If you follow my reviews, you may recall me referencing the film Undead on Arrival. Well, that was the first film I helped with from Moonlight Films. Fallout is our next venture, and is now in the cutting room. Stay tuned for more info, and visit Moonlight's site.

Me and Dudrey

Robert and Chris

Naked and Violent (1970)

Buy it now at Amazon.com!!

Okay, so it's been over 2 months since any of the Side Show staff posted anything, which I've heard means blog suicide, but we'll see. For me, work has consumed me, it's the holiday season for crying out loud, and I work in retail. For Smokeskrene, he's had his sights/thoughts on his big move in March, establishing his new band, and the fall of his relationship (don't worry, he's bouncing back to his old self), and for Stalls, he's been going to school and film making, and other than Trick r Treat and Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, I haven't heard about a single movie he's watched. So, I guess you could say we've all been selfish in our own lives, and too busy to contribute to/entertain yours. Sorry, it's not intentional, but does happen, since it does take time to write reviews, be thought provoking (at least somewhat), and get motivated when you've seen so much garbage that you just want to do nothing but rewatch all the stuff you hold so dear. Then again, what's the fun in that? I'm the one that should be spending the money, taking the time and risk, and bringing you the latest in underground and obscure cinema. I really hope not to leave you empty handed again this year because I'm unable to find that one movie to put my stamp on and tout as Movie of the Year. Trust me, I have an assload of quirky films to watch, yet only a few weeks until 2009 is said and done. But, without further rambling of what I haven't accomplished, here's my first (and hopefully not last, although I guarantee nothing) review for December.

Naked and Violent is Sergio Martino and Luciano Martini’s portrayal of what 1970s America was like. From the bums and strip clubs on the streets of New York, to the drugged out and sex crazed hippies at Woodstock, to the old traditions of the south and the rednecks in Texas, to the Krishnas, Native Americans, Amish, Hawaiians, and even Las Vegas, no stone was left unturned. They try to show as much brutality, depravity, racism, and sex as possible, that you’d think this was either an Anti-America film, or a travel agent's plug to come visit modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah. They even reference such iconic figures and places as JFK, Hugh Hefner, the Manson Family, and NY’s own 42nd Street.

Only in the 70’s could you still get raw footage of African tribal dancing (a sex rite) done by modern day negroes (his words, not mine), perverse sex acts with inflatable dolls, and animal sacrifice, without the MPAA, some activist group, or Johnny Law shutting down your film. What were Sergio and Luciano really trying to say about Americans? Are Italians really that much more tame and less barbaric than us? Some of the most exploitive and gruesome films came from Italy, and then sold to American distributors because of a lack of national embrace. Italians hating Italian films, how blasphemous! Maybe it was just Sergi and Luci’s jealousy of not being American, and having the ability to experience all the freedom, individualism, sex, drugs, and rock n roll. Home of the free, land of the slave, oh, I mean brave, right? I don’t know, all they were doing was poking fun and pointing the finger at what would become their core viewing audience, and still is. Those crazy Italians!

From the Neanderthal-like sports and eating habits we have, to our unusual sexual practices and religious beliefs, to our political pro-war vs socio anti-war views, to our treatment of the elderly, mentally challenged, and disabled people, the Italians presented it all. And, they ended the film with Lady Liberty standing tall without a care to the world, the true American vision/ideology.

Sergio is better known for his films Mountain of the Cannibal God, Torso, Case of the Scorpion’s Tail, The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, and Island of the Fishmen (another title released by Mya Communications). The picture quality varies by frame, and goes from clear to grainy to horribly scratched and down right mangled. But, I’ve found this to be a commonality in Mya releases, as they try to offer some of the most obscure titles, presented in their most uncut versions, even adding footage that should have stayed buried. And, as seen in their other releases, no bonus features are offered, but they do have subtitles rather than dubbing. Once again, I applaud Mya for bringing this title to the masses, but yet another Boo for picture quality, no extra features, and a pretty crummy/biased feature in the vein of the Mondo Cane films. So, unless you're just a fan of these kind of films, steer away, and take Island of the Fishmen and Lucifera: Demon Lover off your Netflix queue or to buy list as they're garbage too.

ENTERTAINMENT --2-- HUMOR --1-- BLOOD/GORE --1-- NUDITY --3-- FILM QUALITY --2-- ITALIAN GREATNESS --0--

OVERALL RATING --2--