Killing Gene aka WAZ (2006)

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The latest release for Dimension Extreme is Killing Gene aka WAZ or W Delta Z. I’d seen a lot of buzz around this title on the international circuit and advertisements through horror magazines like Rue Morgue and Gorezone. So, to see that Dimension got it was both a happy and precautious feeling. Sure, I’d get to see what all the rage was about, but again, knowing the titles that D.E. has released had me at odds. But, with Rogue being much better than Triloquist or Steel Trap (no review given because it was so lame), I had hope that maybe Killing Gene would be better. And, in looking at their future release schedule, they’ve secured the remake to Wizard of Gore (out Aug. 19th), as well as Dario Argento’s Mother of Tears, Zombie Diaries (another title with international buzz), and Feast 2.

This film starts out with a couple of detectives responding to a homicide where they find a pregnant woman, girlfriend of Wesley Smith, who not only died by electrocution, but has WAZ carved into her baby-pooched belly. So, they search for Wes, but he's found hanging dead in a crack house. At the autopsy, both bodies are found to have the same tranquilizer in their blood, so the hunt ensues.

Helen (Melissa George) is the more logical, uncorruptable, yet more intimidated cop, while Eddie (Stellan Skarsgard) is the hard-ass, up in your face, don’t give a shit type. Both seem to compliment one another in their search for the killer.

Another body dead is found with WAZ carved on the stomach, so the source of the tranquilizer is investigated further, which leads to a Dr. Gelb. While questioning the doctor, they see a W Delta Z equation on his chalkboard, and during the distraction, the doc is able to get a shot off at Eddie with a tranq gun and flee. On the run, but caught, the Dr. claims that he sold some of the tranquilizer to a couple of college students, and even though he's the prime suspect, he did not commit the murders.

Come to find out, the people being killed were involved or associated with people involved in a rape case which Eddie investigated, and all who were tried, got off. So, in vigilante-style justice, the rape victim, Jean (Selma Blair), comes back to get her own revenge and plinks them off one by one.

As the story progresses and the hunt for Jean continues, the body count rises, and we find out just how deep-rooted Eddie and the others are. In the end, Jean tranquilizes Eddie and puts him in an electric chair across from Danny, an accomplice to the rape, and Eddie's sexual partner. (This where I thought the plot spread thin and the twist went lame.) So, she cuts off Eddie’s penis, and when he requests to be killed, she cuts his throat while Danny watches, and then turns herself in. The back story is, she thought Eddie really cared for her, even after the rape case collapsed, but then she saw Danny and Eddie together, so she knew why justice hadn’t been served, and took it upon herself to do so.

From what I gather, WAZ aka The Killing Gene boils down to this: What would you do for love, how far would you go for it, and would you kill and/or die for it?

There were traces of Seven, Silence of the Lambs, and even a little Saw (WAZ is pretty much SAW backwards), but it wasn't as well executed or as interesting as those it borrowed from. So, I just had to say, WAZ-up? with this movie, and what was the point in doing the whole homosexual and interracial relationship (Danny was a black dude) twist? Sure, it had potential to be a much better movie, had it not possessed so many elements from other like it, and then end on a lame note, but it was also more of a crime drama, rather than a horror movie. Even some episodes of CSI have more violence and gorier footage than this. But, I do like Selma Blair, it just really depends on the movie if I have an attraction to her, and even though she was bent over a couch butt-naked, it still didn’t do anything for me, and, it wasn’t just because she was getting raped. She just didn't possess that extra something like she had in Hellboy, Cruel Intentions, or Sweetest Thing.

So, I’m still not sure what the buzz around this movie is all about, and probably will never give it a second watch, but am looking forward to the other titles Dimension Extreme has to offer in the near future.

ACTING --3-- HUMOR --1-- BLOOD/GORE --3-- NUDITY --2-- CREATIIVITY --3-- THE ENDING --1--

OVERALL RATING --2.5--

Belly 2: Millionaire Boyz Club (2006)

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Once Dr. Dre’s protégé, and now another rapper turnt actor, The Game takes on the sequel to Nas and DMX’s Belly. Penning his name as executive producer, and doing a follow-up to a movie that has gained cult status in the hip-hop community is quite a big feat, so did The Game pull it off?

The Game plays Reggie “G” Bailey, a convict who gets released after doing 8 years in the pen. Although he has good intentions of keeping his nose clean, he’s unable to find work, and the streets keep calling him back. Him and his partna, Tone, jack a rival dude, Amp, for his money, dope, and ice cream truck. This inflames a long-standing beef where there’s way too many people involved, including a crooked cop. No big surprise here as we’ve seen this scenario many times, heck, just watch an episode of The Wire and you’ll see how shit gets deep quick.

So, G pistol whips Amp, and takes one of his boys, Rock (played by WC), to join his crew. With Amp out of the way, there’s one less n*gga to worry about, but the dope that was jacked wasn’t his, but a much bigger drug lord. So, a chick from the DEA goes undercover and hooks up with G, trying to learn his next move, and eventually bring him down. Problem is, she gets caught up in some thug lovin, and then real emotions start to surface. In the end, pretty much everyone gets blasted, except for G, who decides it best to roll solo and lays his girlfriend to rest.

There really wasn’t anything great about this movie, except for the soundtrack. Sure, there were some brown boobies, some thuggin, some slangin, some shootin, and The Game “doin him,” but this is yet another sequel that rode the shirt tails of a much better movie, when it’s actually a much lamer stand-alone. But, rather than mimic the title it holds, there were noticeable elements of Menace II Society, Friday, and a tad of Boyz in the Hood, just not as exciting. In doing further research, I believe that Lionsgate tacked on the title Belly 2 for marketing purposes, since The Game refers it as just Millionaire Boyz Club in all the interviews. But still, it’s good to see WC get more screen work, even though he didn’t crip walk, and had a pretty lame part. The only humorous part is when G makes a mention of G-Unit, which was an obvious on-screen stab at his long-standing feud with 50 Cent, and shows there's no bounds to his hate.

For those who liked Master P’s I’m Bout It, Cash Money’s Baller Blockin’, or Snoop’s Tha Eastsidaz, you'll probably like this one too, but for true fans of Belly, New Jack City, and Colors, you'll probably hate this as much as I did, since most of the newer movies that cater to this genre suck. So, instead of wasting your time watching The Game try to act out what he raps, go watch the movies that paved the way like Dolemite, Foxy Brown, The Mack, and Shaft. And, in honor of the late, great Isaac Hayes, go watch Truck Turner and I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.

ACTING --2-- HUMOR --1-- BLOOD/GORE --1-- NUDITY --2-- ORIGINALITY --1-- DROPPING THE N-BOMB --4--

OVERALL RATING --2--

Rogue (2007)

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My first thought was, Oh crap, another crocodile/alligator movie, which will probably suck like Croc and Primeval did, my second thought was, Oh, but it’s released by Dimension Extreme, so, it will probably suck like Croc and Primeval did.

Crocodile/Alligator movies are okay, I liked Lake Placid 1&2 and have a copy of Black Water, but haven’t watched it, and I remember the 80’s flick Alligator, my first introduction to the horror sub-genre. But, there have been a slew of others that are less than memorable and only wanted to cash in on the water-beast fame, so why would I expect anything different from this one?

Rogue is set in the Northern Territory of Australia, which has lush greenery, photo-worthy wildlife, and long flowing rivers. Several tourists, along with Marty, a travel writer, board Ryan’s Wildlife River Cruise to view the sites and local wonders. During their ride, they see several crocs, beautiful scenery, and many river-side sites worthy of a picture in National Geographic.

The moment Marty boards the boat, there seems to be a connection with his tour guide, Katie, and they pass flirtatious glances during the ride. The trip seems pretty tame, even with a small altercation with a couple of local troublemakers, until Katie decides to respond to a flare that’s seen by one of the passengers. So, the barge steams ahead, and while looking for someone in need, it's struck by a large croc, causing it to spring a leak and dock on the nearest bank. It's quickly learned that the tide is rising, and what land they’re on will soon be submerged, so the plan is to swim to the other side, but wait, there’s a friggin huge croc out there. Despite that, one guy gets in the water ready to make a break for it, but is stopped by another, who gets snatched up by the water beast. The troublemakers from earlier come by, and rather than help, they drive by without a care, but their boat is attacked too, and Neil is the only to make it to shore.

The plan to get across is quickly seconded, so Neil takes the plunge and strings a rope between two trees so everyone can cross without getting in the water. The first person to go freezes midway, and although only so much weight can be supported, in panic, a father sends his daughter and decides to follow. Needless to say, the rope breaks, and all go plunging into the water. Neil is consumed while waiting for the others, and Mr. Crocodile returns to the water to take another life. Running Death Toll: 4.

Marty decides, Hey, let’s catch this fucker, and then we can make a break for it. But, what do we use for bait...maybe Katie’s dog, Kevin? So, they rig up a rope fishing line using an anchor as a hook, life jackets as bobbers, and dead foul for bait. (And you thought he’d use the pooch, shame on you!) Plan seems to go well as Mr. Croc takes the bait, but after a short struggle, he breaks away and takes Kate under while she’s trying to get across. Marty and Kevin makes it to the other side, and like Lassie would diligently try to find Timmy, Kevin runs to find Kate, who’s found in the nook of a large tree, badly hurt, but still alive.

Mr. Croc returns home (to his tree) exhausted after a long days work and falls asleep. Marty sees the prime time to boogie out of here, but not before one more battle with Jaws. Marty gets a couple of fingers bitten off, but manages to get away, and then braces himself against a rock with a sharp branch in-hand, and gouges the croc right through the roof of his mouth when he tries to bite him. Death toll: 4 people, one croc, and some birds. Marty, Katie, and Kevin exit the croc's dwelling and live happily ever after.

Surprisingly, this movie didn’t suck, and although it isn’t the greatest croc story ever told, it offered beautiful landscapes, thick Australian accents, tons of flies, and some decent crocodile carnage. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m kind of fond of Australian movies since my twin brother, Kelly, lives there. So, there’s a scene at the beginning where Marty stops at a bar for a drink, and the bartender puts a dead fly in it before serving it to him. Kelly told me once that Aussie’s really didn’t like Americans, and they call them Seppos, short for septic tank, or shit. But, also according to my sibling, if Aussies like you, they may call you the same thing. I guess it’s an Australian thing because even though I have some shitty friends, and may say Hey, Shithead, how’s it going?, or You’re so full of shit!, I don’t usually tend to associate my friend-base with the stuff I leave in the toilet. But, those crazy Aussies, their toilets flush backwards, so maybe do their thoughts.

Not a bad movie, but don’t expect anything that hasn’t already been done. And, even though there seemed to be growth by the director, Greg McLean, who also directed Wolf Creek, it seems he'll tap into any genre in order to help put Australia on the map. But, a croc feature makes sense since it's a subject that's so close to home. Heck, he can't be outshined by the Kiwis (Peter Jackson), so he's gotta try something. If you like gator movies, it’s worth a watch, but if you'd rather see pretty scenery with less bloodshed, watch Planet Earth, National Geographic, Crocodile Hunter, or Crocodile Dundee.

ACTING --4-- HUMOR --2-- BLOOD/GORE --2-- NUDITY --0-- CINEMATOGRAPHY --4-- THE CROC --2--

OVERALL RATING --3--

American Zombie (2007)

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“We’re here, we’re dead, get used to it.”

Revenant, walking dead, the undead, zombie, whatever you wanna call them, they populate our towns and are here to stay.

Ivan is a zombie who works at a mini-mart, writes a zine, and lives with his zombie friend (friend spoken loosely), Glenn, an uptight artist. Ivan has a human girlfriend, Monique, who works at a pharmacy and gets him his daily dose of the blue cocktail, a liquid-filled vile that isn’t fully explained, but seems to help suppress the urge to feed.

John Solomon, a filmmaker, and Grace Lee, an acclaimed documentarian, decide to make a film on the zombie population in their L.A. community. John wants the grit and grim of zombie life, while Grace takes a more compassionate and heart-felt approach.

Judy, a high-functioning zombie, works for Healthful Bounty, a company that makes health bars and energy drinks. She likes cats and has plenty of feline memorabilia, but is allergic to the real thing, so doesn't own one. She obsessively loves scrapbooking, and does it to commemorate almost every event in her life. She doesn't see herself as part of the walking dead, and wants nothing more than to get married and be accepted as a human.

Joel, the founder of ZAG (Zombie Advocacy Group), helps fellow zombies during their transition, and then their re-integration into society through job placement. His organization fights for zombie rights and acceptance.

Lisa is a very eccentric zombie who works at a floral shop and dearly wants to remember her past. She continually looks for happiness and a “quiet place” through her string art, zen gardens, and walking through graveyards.

Frank Valesco, a private investigator and zombie exterminator, is often hired by families to search for missing loved ones. In doing so, if he finds them to be part of the undead, he's often asked to "take care" of them too. The most humorous part of the movie is when Frank shows his extermination techniques. A bat, a shovel, a car, almost anything will do as long as it does the job quickly.

Joel and staff are permitted to attend Live Dead, an annual all-zombie get together, and although it looks like a fairly normal event, some things just don’t add up. On the final night, they witness what they believe to be a human sacrifice fed to the zombie mass, so they pack their stuff up and haul ass outta there. When questioned about it, Joel and Ivan pawn it off as a stage performance, but fearing for their lives, John wants to quickly wrap up the project. Grace, however, would like to get some closing shoots, and when they visit Judy one last time, she attacks and bites John. Not knowing what else to do with the body, but knowing that he'll probably turn, Grace leaves him on ZAG’s doorstep.

This is a nice angle on the zombie genre, which sets it apart from the normal Romero-inspired crap I see month after month. Remember, I didn’t care for Diary of the Dead, and although I have respect for what George has done, I think he may no longer have anything to offer the genre he helped create. American Zombie doesn't use blood and gore as it's focal-point, although there's a small glimpse of it in there, but is more along the lines of the movie They Came Back, focusing on character depth and zombie integration, rather than containment and annihilation. Don't get me wrong, I do like zombie "kill" films, but have seen so many crummy ones that my expectations are pretty low when a new one comes out.

So, watch American Zombie AND They Came Back (highly recommended), but be on the lookout for two films which I highly anticipate, Shock-O-Rama’s Necroville, and one that deals with other kinds of monsters, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer.

ACTING --3-- HUMOR --2-- BLOOD/GORE --1-- NUDITY --0-- STORYLINE --3-- CHARACTER DEPTH --3--

OVERALL RATING --3--

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe (2008)

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The long-awaited follow-up to the classic vampire movie, Lost Boys, just hit shelves this week in hopes of rejuvenating a new generation of fans. It’s been 20 years since the original was introduced, and although it's still viewed on the big screen and has a huge cult following, Lost Boys 2 (The Tribe) had a direct-to-DVD release.

This story opens with a group of surfers intruding on someone’s beach front property. This someone is Tom Savini, and when he comes out to flex his muscle and shows his fangs, he’s rudely ripped apart and beheaded by a new generation of blood suckers. The core story revolves around Chris and his sister, Nicole, whose mother passed away, so they decide to move to a friend's rental property and become the new meat in town.

While hanging out at the pier, Chris meets fellow ex-surfer, Shane, who appears out of nowhere, and invites him to a party. This party has lots to offer: breakdancing, boobies, drinks, bellydancing, and fellow surf rivals. While Chris is preoccupied with the bellydancer chick in the shower, Shane runs his game on Nicole, who decides to take a ride on his motorcycle. Chris hears screaming, so he abandones his sexual interlude, even after some tempting persuasion not to, to find his sister. There, he finds Nicole with Shane, and after a short altercation where Shane's nose gets bloodied, they head home.

Enter-Corey Feldman, aka Edgar Frog, surfboard shaper and vampire hunter, who comes to save the day when Nicole has her first vampire spell. So, how’d she become a vampire when there was no bite? It’s because she drank the blood of the head vampire from a flask thinking it was booze. Might I add, this is possibly the most ridiculous performance Corey has done. Sure, dude’s probably hurting for money, but to partake in insulting a legacy he helped create (unknowingly, I'm sure, since maybe he thought it was a good script, or just needed the loot), is a shame.

So, since his sister is on her way to vampirehood, and dating the head dude, Chris battles with the idea of becoming one too (isn't peer pressure a bitch), and gets his chance on a night out with the boys. But, while the others are sweet talking their chicks around a fire, and then decide to feed on them, Chris can't make the same commitment, and tries to help his flee. Enter-Corey Feldman, and POOF, the vampires disappear.

This pretty much brings us to the finale, where Chris and Edgar go to save Nicole, but rather than bore you with the details, in short, the vampire clan is extinguished, Shane loses his head, and Chris and Nicole return home, blood-drenched and exhausted. And, as if Corey's one-liners weren't enough, a final attempt at humor is made when the landlady claims she knows what has been going on, and it has marajuana written all over it.

The acting is pretty ridiculous, and with no real emotion. When Chris finds out that his sister is a half-vampire, he doesn’t freak out, doesn’t say any choice 4-letter words, and doesn’t seem worried, but just appears to accept it, and heads home. I’m sure I’d be the total opposite, and although I’d be curious as to what my sister had become, I’d try to steer away, and be in constant turmoil over if I had to take her life, could I do it? The attempted humor in dialog and antics (hey, let’s stab each other and film it) is less than laughable too. I have to wonder if this was even a true attempt at a sequel, since if one had never seen the original, this could easily be a stand-alone movie.

There were only a couple of scenes where the gore impressed me, one, when the vampire starts hacking up blood and other colorful bodily fluids, and two, when the black vampire gets jack-hammered. In multiple scenes, the gore is way overdone, and even exhaustive, like intestines being ripped out, or falling out after being stabbed. Of course, much of the FX were done using CGI, which I’m not a big fan of, unless done well, and believable, which is not the case here.

My Side Show partner, Smokeskrene, said that he thought this is one of the movie scripts that was plagued by the writers guild strike. I haven't done any research to support this claim, but even if that’s the case, then it’s still no excuse for this embarrassing follow-up, since they’ve had 20 years to come up with a better concept. So, instead, it gets lumped in with the other new vampire movies that really suck. I really like the Blade movies, but not the Blade series (Sticky Fingaz in place of Wesley, yeah, right!), and there’s only a couple of vampire flicks in the last few years that are noteworthy. 30 Days of Night is one, and then a lesser known one called Rise: Vampire Hunter with Lucy Liu. So, I suggest you rent or buy those instead, and just remember, you can always tell the hokiness of a vampire flick by the first glimpse of the kind of fangs used. If they’re the tired-ass ones you’ve seen time and time again, or look like the ones you buy for 99 cents at Halloween, immediately take the disc out of your player, and demand a refund from wherever you got it.

ACTING --2-- HUMOR --1-- BLOOD/GORE --2.5-- NUDITY --3-- LOST BOYS TITLE-WORTHY --0-- COREY FELDMAN --0--

OVERALL RATING --2--

Amateur Porn Star Killer 2 (2008)

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Warning: This review contains explicit language, read at your own risk (of liking)!! If you are easily offended, please skip to the next review.

If you remember, I bashed Amateur Porn Star Killer pretty hard, stating that even Brain Damage Films, The Great American Snuff Film was better. Well, I decided to give the franchise another try, knowing and hoping that even though the sequel was also filmed with no budget and on a handheld camera, it had to be better than the first. And hey, I got it as a freebie, so how could I go wrong? APSK2 comes as a 2-disc set which offers the dumbed-down "Movie" version or the “Snuff” version. Once again, my initial thought was, great marketing, but just how deceiving might it be?

So, being the degenerate I am, I went right for the Snuff version. The film pretty much follows the same premise: The hunt, the stalk, the proposal, the act, the aftermath. Once again, lots of sleep-worthy dialog and storyline with flashback hardcore scenes thrown in. The victim continually teases the cameraman, which causes him to get pissed off, aggressive, and violent. At first, she playfully seems to like it, but then realizes it ain't no joke. After a little fooling around, she tries to make a break for it, but is coaxed back for more sexcapades, where he then chokes her to death and continues to have his way with her. Dude really seems to like dead lays, ehhh, to each his own I guess.

Yeah, there’s a lot of crap to weed through, and like the first, it could have been trimmed down a little, but it still offers full blown T&A, the 3-P’s (the first two P's are words for the male and female genetalia, and the third is when they come together), and even a little oral. Not to mention, the lead actress (Kai Lanette) is nice looking, has a naughty little body, and also has that innocent, yet slutty quality. By far, this film is a lot better than the first, yet still not a masterpiece, and is a must-have for sexual deviants (like my boy Scotty G in the N-Y).

Good thing is, they’ve already started filming #3, and for a mere 50 bucks, you can get your name tacked on as Executive Producer, although you'll hold no creative rights. And, I hear it'll be a 3-disc set, with each version even raunchier than the other, plus they’re working on a 3-D version and using real porn stars. WOW, now that’s great marketing, and even a bigger bang (literally, we hope) for your buck! But still, I have mixed feelings about using porn stars, since for me, the realer the chick, the better. So, we wait and see what Mr. Ryan can deliver.

Thanks to Ana for getting my name on the promo list, I expect big things from APSK3, and hope you can get me a copy of it too. :)

ACTING --2-- HUMOR --1-- BLOOD/GORE --1-- NUDITY --4-- SNUFFNESS --3-- DIRECTING --2--

OVERALL RATING --3--

The Stitcher (2007)

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While attending the Texas Frightmare Weekend last summer, I kept seeing a trailer for this movie before each screening. So yeah, it looked a little hokey, even amateurish, but you know me, always the sucker for those kinds of flicks. So, it became available on Netflix last Fall, but was checked out for the longest time (guess I’m not the only sucker), so after a very long wait, it recently came and here’s my take on it.

The premise and storyline are familiar and simple, a group of friends meet at a lake house and are terrorized by something they can’t quite explain. Some people die, some escape, but in the end, the monster is still alive, leaving it open for a sequel.

Like many movies of this caliber, I'll give the writer, director, and producer a pat on the back for trying, but there wasn’t a single thing that made me want to ever watch it again. And, just because there’s a lot of cleavage and chicks in bras and bikini tops, doesn’t mean it’ll be a good movie, granted, the eye candy was a feeble attempt to mask the fact of how bad it really was. The dialog and acting were crap, the kills sucked (off-screen kills with a camera pan back to the victim's bloodied body), the hillbillies were unrealistic and way over-stereotyped, and although there were some hot ladies, who I may add were dumber than a box of rocks, this movie wasn’t even Troma-rific. With movies like this, at least one of these has to be present: gratuitous nudity, this had only one flashback scene at the end, gut-busting humor, there was none, unless you like overdone hillbilly antics or Digger’s Tales from the Potside, or great gore effects, which were absent and ridiculous.

The Stitcher looks like a mix between Scarecrow Slayer, the Dark Harvest dude, and some other scarecrow-hybrid. And, his origin is nothing spectacular in that he’s just the bastard son of a woman who was raped at the local textile factory years before, which caused him to grow up a little off-kilter and start killing people. So, to commemorate his kills, he stitches buttons to himself as badges for his achievements.

Yeah, it's not the greatest horror story ever told, but what can you expect from VCI Entertainment whose noteable releases are re-issues of Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things and Don’t Open the Door? That alone tells you they aren’t relevant in the horror industry.

For those that just can’t seem to get enough of Friday the 13th rip-offs, but want something less dated, try After Dark Film’s Lake Dead. Otherwise, do yourself a favor and watch Madman or anything with Jason Voorhees before he took Manhattan.

Most memorable quote: Digger says to the ladies, “Do you know the difference between a dick and a chicken leg?” (Heads shake No) “Good, let’s have a picnic.”

ACTING --2-- HUMOR --1-- BLOOD/GORE --1-- NUDITY --1-- STORYLINE --1-- CREATIVITY --1--

OVERALL RATING --2--