Sep 4, 2009

Horrible (1981)


After viewing this horrible trailer, buy the horrible DVD at Amazon.com!!

When I think of Joe D’Amato, I think of his horror-porn/erotica flicks such as Erotic Nights of the Living Dead, Porno Holocaust, Papaya dei Caraibi, and many of the Emmanuelle movies, but those aside, Beyond the Darkness was one of my first brushes with Italian horror. It sparked my interest to further explore the genre, leading to other horror greats, Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, Mario Bava and his son Lamberto, Michele Soavi, Tinto Brass (erotica), and many more. Having liked what I'd seen of J.D.’s stuff, I decided to give Horrible aka Anthropophagus 2 a whirl. As you saw in the trailer, this also went by the name Absurd, which I believe I have a bootleg copy of, but never got around to watching it. And, sadly, Anthropophagus 1 is sitting in my collection without the factory seal ever being broken, so shame on me for not ever taking time to view either of them. So, unfortunately, I can't give a comparison at this time on whether it's an actual follow-up, or just a follower. But, both have the same director, and within minutes of turning it on, it's Italian origin is duly noted with it's Goblin-esque score.

Horrible starts out with a man running, a priest following, and an open mid-section with exposed intestines. A (short) hospital visit, an operation and miraculously recovery (within minutes of being sewn up), a nurse attack, and an escape. A bounty hunter priest, a bed-ridden chick in a neck brace (possibly due to an injury sustained by the "Horrible" from the first movie? (mere speculation)), and a little bratty-ass kid (with an afro) who I hoped would get bludgeoned so I didn’t have to watch his horrible acting and ridiculous tantrums. So, Mr. Horrible plinks off pretty much everyone he comes in contact with, but as to what rhyme or reason, I couldn't tell. Hmmm...maybe the first movie would provide some explanation...

The kills are pretty lame, and the drawn out face burning scene in a kitchen oven only added insult to injury. But, like Handy Man from In Living Color, neck brace chick breaks free from her reigns and comes to the rescue, stabbing Horrible in the eyes with a drawing compass. He then lurches around the house trying to find her (I swear this scene lasted 20 minutes), while afro boy runs for help, finding the priest. After a not so convincing struggle with the priest, Mr. Horrible takes a few whacks in the neck with an axe from N.B. chick (ironic huh, maybe he can use the neck brace now, hee hee), who then walks out of the house blood-dreched with her trophy in-hand, a scene reminiscent of Perseus with Medusa’s head from Clash of the Titans.

Plain and simple, this movie stinks, and is best described by it's title. It's like Joe needed some quick cash, so he piggy backed it's (fairly successful) predecessor (only a year between the two releases) and released this garbage. Now, don’t get me wrong, many of his movies have major flaws, but this was straight up landfill (a Dr. Gore reference (www.drgorereviews.blogspot.com )). I will give kudos to Mya Communications for giving us the most up-to-date uncut print available, even though most of the extra sourced material looks worse than a badly worn VHS, and did absolutely nothing to enhance the film. Also, the audio is low-toned, and even though an English dub track is offered, there are no subtitles with the Italian language track. And, although I was praising the music score at the beginning, I didn't realize it would be looped throughout the whole movie, so after the third or fourth hearing, I was sick of it and wanted to mute the rest of the movie just to shut it up.

So, don’t waste your time with this one, but go buy a copy of Beyond the Darkness, and also Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood aka Twitch of the Death Nerve. Both, I proudly hold in my collection as proof of my entrance and acceptance into the world of Italian horror. And, if you like hardcore, pick up D'Amato's Snow White & 7 Dwarfs, it's guaranteed to make you laugh and gaze in awe.
Note to self: Blow the dust off Anthropophagus and watch it for crying out loud.

ACTING --2-- HUMOR --1--
BLOOD/GORE --2-- NUDITY --0--
AFRO KID'S DEATHWISH --5-- D’AMATO GREATNESS --0--
OVERALL RATING

--2--

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