At first I thought this was some random dude's comment from some random source of media, but at second look, it's from the one and only Stephen King. "The Best American Horror Film..." That had to be taken out of context, seeing that this is a remake of the Swedish film, Let The Right One In, and I've heard it's pretty much a shot-for-shot redo. While I can't speak on either film, because I haven't seen them (although LTROI is sitting in my collection), I can say that it's not an American original. I speculate that other words accompanied these while talking to King, but the marketing and promotions dept at Anchor Bay strategically plucked out these for the DVD release. King can't be that oblivious, but his stamp of approval could translate into dollars. So, maybe it is a great movie, and possibly the best American horror REMAKE in the last 20 years, but to pawn it off as an American classic is a travesty. So, screw what King says, watch both (the original first, of course), and then you can determine which one, if either, should be in the Horror Hall of Fame.
Jan 30, 2011
Did Stephen King really say this?
More 9.99 Blu Ray Deals at Best Buy
So, I thought Amazon was going to be the major price slasher on the big horror releases in February (and they still could be), but I just visited Best Buy's website (a Sunday ritual), and noticed some new Blu Ray entries added to their 9.99 and under bins. I Spit On Your Grave (The Original), Last House on the Left (1972), Poltergeist 2, Robocop 2&3, and Heavy Metal and Hatchet 2 (for $14.99). There are also some great non-horror titles, so head on over and fill up your cart, or visit a store on Tuesday for these great/cheap releases.
Jan 27, 2011
Dogtooth (2009)
No, this isn’t the movie poster, but I thought it would be a funny intro. Dogtooth takes us into the lives of a family who have kept their children hidden from society’s evils. They’re home schooled, play childish games and have childlike demeanors, are highly impressionable and somewhat oblivious, clearly dysfunctional, and harshly disciplined for their shortcomings. The parents do a lot to manipulate their kids thoughts, like what is, really isn’t, and make up stories to keep them at bay.
Christina, a security guard at the father’s work, is introduced into the mix in order to satisfy the son’s sexual needs. She’s blindfolded on the car ride to and fro, does the deed, mingles with the family for a bit, is paid for her time, and repeats the process on another day. Well, when the son fails to satisfy her needs, she takes things into her own hands, or should I say crotch, and bargains with the older sister. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop (in return for a sparkly headband)? Only Christina knows, but this prompts the older sister to start bargaining with her younger one (licks for treats). Christina’s devilish ways not only brings curiosity, but ultimately crushes their entire world.
A few horror elements come into play too. The older sister bites her brother’s arm and then later knifes it, all over a toy airplane. The son takes a pair of hedge clippers and kills a stray cat in the backyard. The older sister gets bashed over the head for watching porno, Christina gets bashed with a VCR, and the older sister bashes her dogtooth out with a hand weight. There's lots of bashing going on here! Incest plays out too (the parent's idea), since Christina is no longer welcome, but the son still has his carnal needs.
I could give a play-by-play of how this film unfolds, and may have given too much away already, but Dogtooth has to be watched in order to be understood. Sure, it may confuse and disgust some feeble viewers, and similarities to Blast from the Past and The Village may be recognized, but it’s my (early) pick as one of the best movies of 2011 (even though it was filmed in 2009). It has the shock value of Kids, Gummo, and Ken Park, yet allows a sense of compassion, as the kids are merely puppets of their masters (their parents).
A scene I found humorous is when the younger sister is cutting off her Barbie doll's feet with scissors, and she screams every time she does it. There’s just a sense of childishness we can all relate to, and an innocence we may have lost due to growing up. Much like a pussy is a big light, and a zombie is a small, yellow flower (these are the definitions given by the mother), maybe our adolescent minds have come to learn too much, thus making life way too complicated. Oh, the obliviousness of these kids if they're ever released into the real world...
This is a great movie, and a great feature for the new year. Another movie on my radar is Enter the Void by Gaspar Noe, the man behind Irreversible and I Stand Alone, which are highly recommended, and highly controversial. When I look at people’s “most extreme cinema” lists, these two titles are almost always on there, and that's my kind of cinema, so I have big hopes for his new flick! If you like these, you should like Dogtooth, but either way, it's not one that's easily forgotten.
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OVERALL RATING--4-- |
Jan 6, 2011
Schoolgirl Hitchhikers (1973)
Schoolgirl Hitchhikers is about BFF’s Jackie (the blonde) and Monica (the brunette) who do everything together, including inviting themselves into an abandoned house, and then sleeping in their bed (Goldilocks style). After fooling around with Jackie (and eating her porridge), Monica grabs a smoke on the balcony, only to find that the lights are on downstairs, and neither of them had left the room. So, she investigates, and finds that petty thief Pete also inhabits the dwelling. So, what's a woman to do, but turn on her seductive gaze and get laid? Jackie wakes up, goes downstairs, and joins the festivities too, little nudging needed.
The next morning, the girls wave au revoir, and now enters the angry dominatrix chick and her goon, looking for Pete’s jewels (ha ha, no, not those). The girls are gone, the jewels are gone, and so the hunt is on. They're tracked down, chloroformed, and taken back to the house. Jackie is tied up, stripped, and whipped, but knows nothing, while Monica is in the other room seducing the goon so she can make a break for it. In what I though would be another drawn out scene of fornication, abruptly ended with a vase-to-the-head bashing. So, she finds a private investigator (and his pigtailed partner), gives them the low-down, and they head back to the house, only to find it empty (signified by an uncalled for baboon howl). WTF? This gives a great segue into the WTF/random thoughts portion of the review:
-From afar, Pete kinda looks like Tom Savini or Charles Bronson.
-I’d like to see Ms. Pigtails get naked.
-The great shoot out. How many bullets does a six-shot revolver really have? More than that--obviously!
-Monica’s shirt just came off, yet again, and she’s being beaten by the dominatrix.
-Monica and Pete go at it again, and the dominatrix is a voyeur…go figure.
-All the chicks get a wardrobe change.
-Yes! Pete whips out the belt and makes Ms. Pigtails get undressed. Damn, what a disappointment.
-The jewels are still missing…who’s that pulling into the driveway?
-Monica uses her seductive ways yet again, and it has the power to unearth precious stones.
-Pete is a fraud, the gems are fake.
-Magnum P.I. and Ms. Piggy save Pete from the vengeful dominitrix.
-Reunited once again, Monica and Jackie kiss, and then go frolicking off into the woods.
Simply put, Monica is a nympho, a tease, and will get naked with anyone. The first 30 minutes are pretty much nothing but sex. First, Monica with Jackie, then Monica with Pete, and then Monica and Jackie with Pete. While there are a few brief moments of eroticism, the sex scenes are laughable, and way too long, and when Monica goes nuts in a climactic fury while Jackie is kissing/licking on her belly, it’s absolutely ridiculous. This is not one of Jean’s best works, and perhaps he was just coming off of one of his porno stints. It’s almost as if he had been watching British comedies too, because that's about the humor level portrayed, and one I'm not a fan of.
The big question is, what happened to Jean’s token orgasmic backdrops and supernaturally overtoned storylines? Schoolgirl Hitchhikers was released in between two of his more known releases, Nude Vampire and Lips of Blood, and done under one of his aliases, Michel Gentil (taken from his full name, Jean Michel Rollin Le Gentil). This film may have been an embarrassment for him, or just a money making project, since he didn’t even tack on his real name to it, then again, maybe he didn’t deem it worthy of the Rollin stamp because he didn’t write it. I can only speculate, but unless you’re an unrelenting fan, and feel your life would not be complete without owning every feature of his, I’d pass on it, and re-visit some of his better known works. Sadly, the maestro’s life was taken from us on December 15th, so R.I.P. Jean Rollin (1938-2010), you will be missed. I really hope someone releases his most recent film, Le masque de la Méduse (Mask of Medusa). And, for the 2-0-1-1, I hope to bring a refreshing breath of air to the Side Show Review for the new decade!! Stalls and Smokeskrene, you with me?
A side note: The coverart for Schoolgirl Hitchhikers on Amazon is a little deceptive, since neither of the chicks pictured on the cover are in the film. This looks like a marketing ploy used to drive in a new audience of viewers, but the actual artwork is seen at the end of the trailer above.
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OVERALL RATING--2-- |
