Hisss (2010)

Hisss is Bollywood’s take on a Syfy channel flick, with crappy CGI snakes, crummy dialog, stupid characters, and not-so-great transformation scenes. And, even though there’s a decent looking naked Hindi chick playing the lead, the movie is still better off in the landfill.

After reading about this movie a year or so ago, I don’t recall much more being said, other than the director, Jennifer Chambers Lynch (David Lynch’s daughter), walking away before the editing was done. But, last week I heard it was at Redbox (an exclusive perhaps?), and sure enough, I was able to rent it at one of the local kiosks. Thinking it would be quite an accomplishment for the Red Baron to have it exclusively, I did further research, only to find that it’s also available on Amazon, Blockbuster, and Netflix for rent or download purchase. No word yet on sell-through media, although I’m sure it’ll end up in Walmart's $5 bin, right next to Troma's Redneck Zombies and Echo Bridge's Hellraiser and Children of the Corn multi-packs.

The movie is about the Nagin (Snake Goddess) who has come back to find her mate (a male snake, of course, although some lesbo reptilian love would have been an interesting twist), who has been captured by a guy who hopes to barter with her to get rid of his brain cancer and also gain immortality. Somewhat of a stupid and confusing premise, yes, and even though there's a few bare butt scenes of the Nagin in human form (wouldn't have the same effect if it were just a naked snake, right?), and even a quick, shadowed crotch shot, the overuse of CGI, rubber snakes, and laughable transformations lead to an immediate disappointment (and yawn), and the time spent seemed a bit shameful. Even my recollection of doping up garter snakes with chewing tobacco as a kid were way more entertaining than this movie, sorry PETA. But, not all is lost, as in true Bollywood fashion, we at least get a short (although lackluster) dance number.

So, unless you’re a sucker for bad Syfy-style flicks, steer away from this one. Then again, for a buck (even less if everyone chips in), it may be worth watching with a bunch of friends while consuming massive amounts of alcohol. And, for a few coins more, you can follow it up with Full Moon's Killjoy 3 (also at your local Redbox). We're in a recession, folks, so cheap fun still counts as fun, right?

Pictures courtesy of bloody-disgusting.com:

Still interested?
I thought so.