Where Zombie Strippers, Cabin Fever 2, and Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! Strippers vs. Zombies left off, Full Moon Pictures picks up with Zombies vs. Strippers. I know, it gets confusing when there's very little variation to these titles, but when zombies and strippers are used in the same sentence, it's pretty obvious who the intended audiences is (pervs like me), no matter what order they're put in. If you’ve seen a FMP film, you pretty much know what to expect, boobs, blood, stretched humor, and mediocre, sometimes just laughable special FX. Well, ZvS doesn’t deviate from that formula, nor does it add anything new.
The Tough Titty (obviously taking inspiration from From Dusk Till Dawn’s Titty Twister) has fallen on hard times, and with no asses in the seats, that means no asses in your face. But, as the zombie hordes start to take over, it draws a few people in, including a musician with a wad of cash, a high-rolling business man, and some bikers.
What follows is pretty much what we’ve seen time and time again, zombies attack, people die, zombies die, people turn into the undead, and you know the rest. But, this is a stripper movie too, and while 3 out of 4 ladies aren’t afraid to take it off, it's still less than impressive, as we get Bambi’s B-cups (that may be too generous), Jasmine’s fake balloons, and Vanilla’s brown sugar goodness. Bambi has the looks (just no boobs), Jasmine's the airheaded bleach blonde, Vanilla is like a 70's Pam Grier, and Sugar Hills, played by Eve Mauro, is the mouthy, tough chick who must have had a no-nudity clause in her contract, as she's the one that doesn't bare em.
Overall, this film is pretty boring, and while Zombie Strippers (2008) offered a notable cue ball scene, ZvS really only adds a new zombie killing weapon, a high heel…on a stick! (Said in my best Jeff Dunham voice, of course). There are two scenes that may bring a giggle, when the stripper gets her face ripped off while getting boned, and the zombie Michael Jackson, but overall, it offered very little to put in my long-term memory, nor a want to revisit.
But, that’s not to discount Full Moon, which has helped the careers of many people, including scream queens Linnea Quigley and Brinke Stevens. In a time when most independent studios are folding or already have, Full Moon continues to churn out low budget horror and sci-fi, as there is still a market for it, and you can’t deny Charles Band his rightful place alongside Roger Corman.
Whether you liked them or not, who hasn’t seen a Puppet Master, Subspecies, Trancers, Killjoy, or Demonic Toys movie? Heck, I picked up the Blu-Rays of the first Puppet Master and Subspecies last year, and Mr. Band has plans to release others in high def, while re-releasing titles (for a mere 10 bucks a piece) that were previously only available in box sets. But, I'll probably wait, as I always look forward to their Half-off plus free shipping sales, so I feel like less of an ass if I pick up a crapper. I also proudly wear my Subspecies and Blade (from Puppet Master) t-shirts, in hopes that someone will know what they are and comment, allowing the opportunity to strike up a conversation of pure Nerdom.
ZvS probably won’t give you a chub, nor satisfy your zombie appetite (that’s what The Walking Dead and classic Romero movies are for), but I can see it destined for late night TV, along with Emmanuelle in Space and Lord of the G-Strings. And, while it isn't low budget erotica, it seems to have a place here.
Even though zombie and zombie-stripper movies have pretty much ran their course, and little can be done to impress me, I know there's many more to come (maybe even another Romero stinker), and yes, I will watch them, and hate them, and blog about them, and help you save your time and money, as this is the pledge I've made to you.
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