The premise and storyline are familiar and simple, a group of friends meet at a lake house and are terrorized by something they can’t quite explain. Some people die, some escape, but in the end, the monster is still alive, leaving it open for a sequel.
Like many movies of this caliber, I'll give the writer, director, and producer a pat on the back for trying, but there wasn’t a single thing that made me want to ever watch it again. And, just because there’s a lot of cleavage and chicks in bras and bikini tops, doesn’t mean it’ll be a good movie, granted, the eye candy was a feeble attempt to mask the fact of how bad it really was. The dialog and acting were crap, the kills sucked (off-screen kills with a camera pan back to the victim's bloodied body), the hillbillies were unrealistic and way over-stereotyped, and although there were some hot ladies, who I may add were dumber than a box of rocks, this movie wasn’t even Troma-rific. With movies like this, at least one of these has to be present: gratuitous nudity, this had only one flashback scene at the end, gut-busting humor, there was none, unless you like overdone hillbilly antics or Digger’s Tales from the Potside, or great gore effects, which were absent and ridiculous.
The Stitcher looks like a mix between Scarecrow Slayer, the Dark Harvest dude, and some other scarecrow-hybrid. And, his origin is nothing spectacular in that he’s just the bastard son of a woman who was raped at the local textile factory years before, which caused him to grow up a little off-kilter and start killing people. So, to commemorate his kills, he stitches buttons to himself as badges for his achievements.
Yeah, it's not the greatest horror story ever told, but what can you expect from VCI Entertainment whose noteable releases are re-issues of Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things and Don’t Open the Door? That alone tells you they aren’t relevant in the horror industry.
For those that just can’t seem to get enough of Friday the 13th rip-offs, but want something less dated, try After Dark Film’s Lake Dead. Otherwise, do yourself a favor and watch Madman or anything with Jason Voorhees before he took Manhattan.
Most memorable quote: Digger says to the ladies, “Do you know the difference between a dick and a chicken leg?” (Heads shake No) “Good, let’s have a picnic.”
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OVERALL RATING--2-- |
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