This goes along with a prior post called Films Not Worthy of a Real Review Part 1, which sadly, I couldn't find in any of my blogs. I remember writing it, but not a single movie I put on it, so I guess it was titled appropriately. Well, here's a few more I recently watched that didn't really merit thorough Side Show analyzation:
Zombie Dearest (2009):
From the jump, this had so much potential with it's Shaun of the Dead/Fido antics, but ended up leaving me hanging. Director David Kemker plays the lead role perfectly, along with David Sparrow as Quinto the Zombie, and Shirley Temple-haired Shauna Black rounds it out with her cuteness. Zombie comedies are the rave these days, and this fits in perfectly, even though the ending may leave you a little disappointed.
Hoodoo for Voodoo (2006):
The best thing about this movie was the boobage and catch phrase t-shirts everyone wore, but like many others, fails to entertain outside of that. The gore and dialog were lame, which may have been the intent, but it couldn't even be saved by Linnea Quigley (looking rather old I might add), cameos by Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman, or Tiffany Shepis's boobs.
Hanger (2009):
After watching this, my first impression was to write it off as just another film made to shock, but since then, I can't seem to get it out of my head. It's not a great movie, but does have several WTF? moments, and maybe just enough quirkiness for my appetite. So, I've decided to buy and rewatch it. What I do remember is Debbie Rochon plays a pregnant hooker who's pimp doesn't like the fact that his prize ho has gotten knocked up, so he aborts the baby with a hanger. Baby lives, but is deformed, and the father comes along on his 18th birthday to help rear his son. Boobs, crotch, labia, blood, oddities, this film has it all, but sadly, you'll walk away shaking your head wondering what train wreck you just watched. This is the same director that did Gutterballs, which I reviewed.
Home Movie (2008):
This is about a twin brother and sister who start mutilating animals, and then a friend, and then their parents, who somewhat ironically, are a minister and therapist. Hand-held cam type of movie that was an hour and a half of wasted time. I was excited when this finally got released outside of the IFC/Blockbuster circuit, but it ended up being easily forgotten. Watch Ghost House Underground's The Children, or the original Children of the Corn (not that crappy Syfy remake) instead.
Penanace (2009):
Penance had several boobs, but is some kind of a Nazi/Ilsa/Martyrs purification movie about strippers who get drugged, locked up, and tortured in order to purify their souls. Another movie intended to shock, which is portrayed in a scene where a guy cuts out this chick's clitoris (no close ups) and puts it a jar with others, and then cuts off his nuts and puts them in a jar. This may disgust or be shocking to some, but I thought it was quite ridiculous. Then again, I'm kinda numb to most things intended to make my eyes pop out, make me piss or crap myself, or make me vomit. Don't confuse this with August Underground's movie of the same name, which really, isn't any better.
And so, my search for Movie of the Year continues...
Dec 23, 2009
Films Not Worthy of a Real Review Part 2
Jason Plays a Mean Triangle (You Tube Short)
Well, if I can't find time to post movie reviews, maybe I can entertain you with random crap. Some may be movie related, some not, but thanks to the blog Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, we see Freddy and Jason's musical (and bilingual) talents.
Dec 16, 2009
Fallout (2009)-Moonlight Films-Hutchinson, KS
Coming to DVD in 2010 will be Hutchinson, Kansas' own, Fallout. If you follow my reviews, you may recall me referencing the film Undead on Arrival. Well, that was the first film I helped with from Moonlight Films. Fallout is our next venture, and is now in the cutting room. Stay tuned for more info, and visit Moonlight's site.
Me and Dudrey
Robert and Chris
Dec 2, 2009
Naked and Violent (1970)
Naked and Violent is Sergio Martino and Luciano Martini’s portrayal of what 1970s America was like. From the bums and strip clubs on the streets of New York, to the drugged out and sex crazed hippies at Woodstock, to the old traditions of the south and the rednecks in Texas, to the Krishnas, Native Americans, Amish, Hawaiians, and even Las Vegas, no stone was left unturned. They try to show as much brutality, depravity, racism, and sex as possible, that you’d think this was either an Anti-America film, or a travel agent's plug to come visit modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah. They even reference such iconic figures and places as JFK, Hugh Hefner, the Manson Family, and NY’s own 42nd Street.
Only in the 70’s could you still get raw footage of African tribal dancing (a sex rite) done by modern day negroes (his words, not mine), perverse sex acts with inflatable dolls, and animal sacrifice, without the MPAA, some activist group, or Johnny Law shutting down your film. What were Sergio and Luciano really trying to say about Americans? Are Italians really that much more tame and less barbaric than us? Some of the most exploitive and gruesome films came from Italy, and then sold to American distributors because of a lack of national embrace. Italians hating Italian films, how blasphemous! Maybe it was just Sergi and Luci’s jealousy of not being American, and having the ability to experience all the freedom, individualism, sex, drugs, and rock n roll. Home of the free, land of the slave, oh, I mean brave, right? I don’t know, all they were doing was poking fun and pointing the finger at what would become their core viewing audience, and still is. Those crazy Italians!
From the Neanderthal-like sports and eating habits we have, to our unusual sexual practices and religious beliefs, to our political pro-war vs socio anti-war views, to our treatment of the elderly, mentally challenged, and disabled people, the Italians presented it all. And, they ended the film with Lady Liberty standing tall without a care to the world, the true American vision/ideology.
Sergio is better known for his films Mountain of the Cannibal God, Torso, Case of the Scorpion’s Tail, The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, and Island of the Fishmen (another title released by Mya Communications). The picture quality varies by frame, and goes from clear to grainy to horribly scratched and down right mangled. But, I’ve found this to be a commonality in Mya releases, as they try to offer some of the most obscure titles, presented in their most uncut versions, even adding footage that should have stayed buried. And, as seen in their other releases, no bonus features are offered, but they do have subtitles rather than dubbing. Once again, I applaud Mya for bringing this title to the masses, but yet another Boo for picture quality, no extra features, and a pretty crummy/biased feature in the vein of the Mondo Cane films. So, unless you're just a fan of these kind of films, steer away, and take Island of the Fishmen and Lucifera: Demon Lover off your Netflix queue or to buy list as they're garbage too.
|
OVERALL RATING--2-- |
Sep 4, 2009
Horrible (1981)
Horrible starts out with a man running, a priest following, and an open mid-section with exposed intestines. A (short) hospital visit, an operation and miraculously recovery (within minutes of being sewn up), a nurse attack, and an escape. A bounty hunter priest, a bed-ridden chick in a neck brace (possibly due to an injury sustained by the "Horrible" from the first movie? (mere speculation)), and a little bratty-ass kid (with an afro) who I hoped would get bludgeoned so I didn’t have to watch his horrible acting and ridiculous tantrums. So, Mr. Horrible plinks off pretty much everyone he comes in contact with, but as to what rhyme or reason, I couldn't tell. Hmmm...maybe the first movie would provide some explanation...
The kills are pretty lame, and the drawn out face burning scene in a kitchen oven only added insult to injury. But, like Handy Man from In Living Color, neck brace chick breaks free from her reigns and comes to the rescue, stabbing Horrible in the eyes with a drawing compass. He then lurches around the house trying to find her (I swear this scene lasted 20 minutes), while afro boy runs for help, finding the priest. After a not so convincing struggle with the priest, Mr. Horrible takes a few whacks in the neck with an axe from N.B. chick (ironic huh, maybe he can use the neck brace now, hee hee), who then walks out of the house blood-dreched with her trophy in-hand, a scene reminiscent of Perseus with Medusa’s head from Clash of the Titans.
Plain and simple, this movie stinks, and is best described by it's title. It's like Joe needed some quick cash, so he piggy backed it's (fairly successful) predecessor (only a year between the two releases) and released this garbage. Now, don’t get me wrong, many of his movies have major flaws, but this was straight up landfill (a Dr. Gore reference (www.drgorereviews.blogspot.com )). I will give kudos to Mya Communications for giving us the most up-to-date uncut print available, even though most of the extra sourced material looks worse than a badly worn VHS, and did absolutely nothing to enhance the film. Also, the audio is low-toned, and even though an English dub track is offered, there are no subtitles with the Italian language track. And, although I was praising the music score at the beginning, I didn't realize it would be looped throughout the whole movie, so after the third or fourth hearing, I was sick of it and wanted to mute the rest of the movie just to shut it up.
So, don’t waste your time with this one, but go buy a copy of Beyond the Darkness, and also Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood aka Twitch of the Death Nerve. Both, I proudly hold in my collection as proof of my entrance and acceptance into the world of Italian horror. And, if you like hardcore, pick up D'Amato's Snow White & 7 Dwarfs, it's guaranteed to make you laugh and gaze in awe.
Note to self: Blow the dust off Anthropophagus and watch it for crying out loud.
|
OVERALL RATING--2-- |
Aug 30, 2009
Halloween 2 (2009)
Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2, the horror film I had been looking forward to forever. I was a huge fan of the first one (it tops the list of my favorite horror film actually), and figured this was going to be the movie to end all movies. You can understand my sadness when I saw it the other night and was severely disappointed.
First the good though. If you watched Halloween, then I think you’ll like this one. It offers the same Rob Zombie treatment of horror that we saw in the first one. Also, this one isn’t based off the original Halloween 2 really at all, which is amazing. I hated the original Halloween 2 so the fact this wasn’t a shot for shot remake was really good. Michael is a freaking badass in this film. Much like the new Friday the 13th made Jason into a psycho monster the likes of which we had never seen before, H2 makes Michael much the same way.
In the acting department, Scout Taylor-Compton pulls off a great Laurie (way better than Jamie Lee Curtis, but I really can’t stand her no matter how hard I try). Sadly, Sherri Moon makes an appearance in this movie…and honestly she sucks. She can’t pull of the character of Michael’s mom, but more on that a little later in the review.
Also, I loved the way this movie was shot. Not that it was done entirely in some new and exciting way or anything, but there just seemed to be times when I was awed at certain scenes and the way they were done. It maybe the fact I’m going to school for such things, but it was one of those things that just really struck me as awesome.
The fact that Michael is a badass just makes the movie better in my opinion. K-fleet went with me and at one point leans over and whispers, “Michael’s pissed off this time around.” It took me a second and then I registered what he meant, because Michael had just stabbed a nurse like 10 times or so and it was AWESOME. The sound effects and the brutality of the stabbings were sweet.
For all the good things though, this movie has quite a few things working against it, and the number one thing was the story. I don’t want to ruin anything, but there is a crazy paranormal thing going on that simply fails at being a good story.
Another thing was the characters in this film. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people that come back for round 2, but there are also numerous new characters as well, and for the most part you don’t feel bad when they die. They don’t really have anything going for them as far as story is concerned, so they basically just act like fodder for Michael to tear through.
One of the things that K-fleet and I both agreed on was that the pacing just seemed funny in this film. I can’t really describe how, and maybe he can help me out with it, but it just feels off as you watch the movie. I don’t know if it was because more people died later in the movie rather than throughout the movie, but it’s just strange and you can really feel it as you watch.
|
OVERALL RATING--3.5-- |
Jul 22, 2009
Shaolin & Wu Tang (1981)
So, my choice for the evening was Shaolin & Wu Tang. Like others, my knowledge of both of these came from early 90’s rap music. Yeah, I loved the Wu Tang Clan. Not only were they “nuthin to fuck with,” but they breathed a breath of fresh air into the genre, which was dominated by gangsta rap (which I love too), but also accompanied by pro-black rap, party/corny rap, and conscious rap. Granted, I’d seen some Bruce Lee flicks prior to this, and even The Last Dragon (a classic), but Wu Tang opened up a whole new world of cinema for me, that being true martial arts movies filmed in their native land.
Now, I wouldn’t consider myself a hardcore martial arts fan, since after a while they start getting muddled and redundant, but I am a fan of several of the early Gordon Liu flicks (he’s featured in this one), some old Sonny Chiba, Bruce Lee for sure, and even some of the newer fantasy-style ones (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Curse of the Golden Flower, Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters), but only a few really stand out in my memory (Born Invincible, Enter the Dragon), so that’s what I compare them to.
It’s pretty clear from the jump that Xenon Films didn’t spend any money remastering this. First of all, the film is grainy, the audio is shoddy, and it’s presented in fullscreen, which limits the picture (and action) and also cuts off most of the subtitles. But, to it’s credit, the film is dubbed. Not that I like dubbing, but if I can’t read the subtitles, then a dub track better be present. So, I watched this with both dubbing and subtitles, which was quite humorous, since neither really matched up.
So, basically, this movie is about the Shaolin (shadow boxing) vs. the Wu Tang (sword style), with Gordon Liu representing Shaolin. And, even though the two camps are cordial to one another, there’s still an unspoken rivalry between them, or merely an ideology of which style is more dominant, which the Lord (not Jesus Christ) wants to learn in order to be unstoppable. But, neither master are willing to give up the secret to their art, so the Lord poisons the Wu Tang master, blames it on the Shaolin, and Fung Wu (the master' s protégé), accidentally finishes him off with a sword (a plan devised by the master to take him out of his misery). And, since Fung’s unwilling to give up the secret too, he’s jailed for his master's death.
While there, he meets a woman who helps him out, and with the help of his friend, Gordon Liu, who infiltrates the prison guards, she nurses him back to health, learns both fighting styles, and is able to free him. But, after an outnumbered fight, Fung gets recaptured and re-incarcerated, Gordon’s sister gets killed, which is blamed on the Wu Tang, and so, Gordon seeks further training from the Shaolin monks in order to get revenge. Can’t you see where this is going?
In order for the Lord to reign supreme, he stages a fight between both camps, represented by Liu and Wu, in hopes that they will kill each other. But, his plan goes awry, as they use their skills (and each other’s) against him, while his sister (the chick from the jail who helped them) mediates the battle. In the end, Shaolin and Wu Tang are merley one in the same, and it’s a happy ending. Hoo-rah!
The greatest thing about this movie is that it is the original source for many of the quotes on Wu Tang Clan’s songs. Such as, “If what you say is true, the Shaolin and the Wu Tang could be dangerous…” But, despite the crummy audio and picture, this was still enjoyable, and during the ending credits, it was confirmed that this was sourced from a VHS (scrolling fuzzy lines like VHS does when it gets worn out). Come to think of it, I have a whole bag of old martial arts tapes like this packed away that I bought for $1 a piece. Maybe I should blow the dust off the old VCR and have a kung-fu movie madness, minus one David Carradine though (R.I.P. Grasshopper). I’ll ponder it, but I know my girlfriend won’t go for it.
Watch it, love it, hate it, I don’t really care, but don’t front on the Wu Tang Clan for making you curious about it.
|
OVERALL RATING--3-- |
Hell's Half Acre (2006)
When a movie starts out by pre-empting just how extreme it is, I find it not only humorous, but cautionary. It sets the stage for either a great campy ride, a big disappointment, or even utter disaster. For Hell’s Half Acre, this “warning” comes in the form of a public service announcement by Dawn Reed, the founder of WUCP (Wake Up Call for Parents), who calls it “the most filthy, disgusting, horror film.” After viewing it, she was so appalled that she started the organization in order to educate and warn others of it’s evil, and to get government involvement in better regulatory procedures.
This 7 minute PSA immediately screamed camp (Troma style), and although it got a little tedious, I knew that what to come shouldn't be taken too seriously. And, when boobs were thrown in within the first minute of the film, it was a good sign, but sadly, they were the only ones to appear.
The setting is Ennisburg, PA, where three dudes are looking for their missing friend, Val. They stumble upon her dead body in a shed, and believing the culprit is the property owner, Bob Moore, they bum rush his house, tie him and his kid up, douse them with gasoline, and set the house ablaze. (Insert humor) The street address of the Moore residence is 187 Valerie Lane, and the news station that covers the story is WKIL Channel 8.
Now, present day, it appears that Bob (or his son, Derek) has returned for vengeance on the entire town. Nicole and her boyfriend are sharing some quality time parking, but Skully (as I call him) appears, bashes in the truck's window with a sledgehammer, and then does the same to the boyfriend’s head. Nicole runs for help, tells the local P.D. what happened, which is taken lightly, and they promise to inspect the scene the next morning. (The next morning? What kind of cock-a-maymee law enforcers are these guys?) Her story checks out, and even though there's no body, it’s clear there was foul play. But, in the distance, the officers see Skully, and after a short struggle and a chase, he kills them.
People start getting plinked off, and Nicole, being one of the lone survivors and having nothing else to lose, goes after him. She's able to get in several shots and hacks, but ala Jason and Michael, he's only down for a minute before getting back up to continue his massacre. J&M moments are plentiful, like when he turns to give “the look,” or just stands there observing his prey (J&M were voyeurs too ya know). But, then my hopefulness is blown when he starts running after people. See, I’m old school, and fast moving slashers do nothing for me (that’s one thing I hated about the new Friday the 13th). It’s much more entertaining to see them walk, but still end up in the same place as their victims, who were running their asses off. An exception, but I'm sure there are others, is when Leatherface is chasing Sally (Marilyn Burns) at the end of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. For whatever reason, I can accept that he was running, even though it was clear that he was holding back since she was slower than molasses. And, zombies are just the opposite, they have to move fast in order to please me, definitely faster than George Romero’s undead slugs.
But, unlike J&M, Skully uses a whole gambit of murder weapons: a sledgehammer, machetes, shotguns, pistols, etc, and takes no shame in wiping out a whole church of people. In the final scene, we see Skully standing on the top of a building watching the city burn, much like in V for Vendetta, and I kept thinking that a much needed theme song in this instance would be Burn, Hollywood, Burn by Public Enemy and Ice Cube. Of course, this isn’t Hollywood, but you get the picture, and if you want to be picky, it wouldn’t be hard to replace the city names with current technology.
The one thing I didn’t quite understand was the ending. Either in an act of guilt (provoked by Nicole), his feeling of accomplishment (killing everyone including Nicole, who isn't really dead, but we'll roll with it), or a combination of both, Skully plummets himself off the building (ala Crow style) and gets impaled on a street sign. I mean, dude could disappear and reappear, so why did he have to kill himself? It’s almost like the director needed an ending, but wasn’t quite sure how to wrap it up, and thought, "Yeah, that would be a cool scene," but wasn’t sure how to fit it in, and even though it really didn’t fit the storyline, was like, "Screw it, let’s do it." Even after a 2nd viewing, I'm still puzzled.
But, in low budget films, you have do what works, settle for what you got, and make the best of your resources. One of the best scenes is when Skully barrels through the door, knocking it off the hinges, and it hits a chick in the face. After watching the special features, it's explained how it was totally unintentional, and actually resulted from a miscue, but hell, it made a great scene none the less. I also really liked when Skully bashed the truck window in, it seemed so real and natural, and at that point I was really rooting for him, that is, until I saw him running, GRRRR.
This is a movie I’d watch again, but probably with friends and beer. I'd like to thank Sean for sending me a copy, and hope another feature is in the works. Nice accompanying music by Spitshine.
|
OVERALL RATING--3-- |
Jul 15, 2009
Mindflesh (2008)
Warning: This trailer contains scenes of a mature nature, so only view if you are of age or have your parent’s permission. I cannot be held responsible for your deviant behaviors. :)
MindFlesh Trailer from ZenFilms on Vimeo.
Mindflesh is a movie that’s true to it’s title. The lead actor, Chris, is played by Peter Bramhill, who's better known for his role in 1999’s Human Traffic. Chris is a cab driver who has flesh on his mind all the time, as he continues to see a near-naked chick, who disappears within minutes of her arrival. He becomes so obsessed, that he writes down his sightings of her, and maps them out on his wall at home. Problem is, after he sees her, he also has “encounters,” which are far less pleasing, and often even end in injury.
So, who is this mute chick that comes and goes with no rhyme or reason? It’s Carole Derrien from Nature Morte (2006). Is she real? Merely imagination? Hell, I don’t know, but I enjoyed her nakedness, and so does Chris once she decides to stick around for a while. But, the more time he spends with her, the more it effects him (and the people around him), like he’s opened a portal to hell.
Seeking answers, he goes to see a college professor who has written on the subject, but rather than offering much insight, he tells him to get rid of the bitch because she’s nothing but trouble. Unable to do so, things continue to happen, and we find out that his life as youngster has helped cause these events to happen, with flashbacks of Mummy’s verbal abuse, and a possible molestation.
In dream-like sequences, it’s pretty clear that some alien shit is going on here, or these people are experiencing some serious dementia. Either way, most of the scenes play out in Cronenbergian fashion, maybe even a little Lynchian, and will have you saying WTF? the whole way through. You'll even walk away from the ending scratching your head.
Clocking in at a mere 1 hour and 9 minutes, it’s definitely worth a watch. For pervs, Carole’s boobs will draw you in and keep you mezmerized, and for the obscure cinema watcher who doesn’t require a lot of explanation and likes weird shit going on, this should suffice. An alternative title for this could simply be Mindfuck, which other reviewers have used to describe it, but Robert has chosen a title that suits it well, doesn't disappoint, and is mainstream-friendly enough to spark the interest of all.
His previous film, London Voodoo (2004), which I own and liked when I viewed it a few years ago, is much more horror and gore oriented. (Note to self: watch London Voodoo again.) So, even though I'm a hardcore horror fan, it's nice to see him branch out into other (yet similar) genres. My only real beef with Mindflesh is that I wish subtitles were available, because with the thick British accents, I couldn’t make out some of the dialog, no matter how loud I turned up the TV. But, this is definitely a flick I’d watch again, and recommend to others. I'm also confident that much more is in store for Zen Films, and I really look forward to their next feature. Thanks again to Robert for sending me this for review. Again, I apologize that it’s taken so long to get it up (where was the Viagra when I needed it ;) ).
Most memorable quote (and a classic one in the making at that):
“Have you fucked anyone special recently? (Silence) Ah ha, congratulations, you’ve been fucking your own mind.”
|
OVERALL RATING--3.5-- |
Jul 13, 2009
Spider Baby
Buy it now!!
|
OVERALL RATING--3-- |
Jun 26, 2009
Death Wish (1974)
Much like other movies of the era, it’s a kick ass and take names later kind of flick, but rather than it being Clint Eastwood or Chuck Norris, it’s Charles Bronson, who just reeks of badassness, and who I believe can take the other two. Chucky B is one bad mofo, and even though he has a kind and compassionate face, he but can straight unleash the beast when provoked.
So, here's the story. After enjoying a relaxing vacation with his wife, they head back to the hustle and bustle of city life, but things go awry when his wife and daughter are attacked and assaulted (in their own home), and the daughter is raped by one of the gang members, a young-faced Jeff Goldblum. The wife dies in the hospital, and the daughter is comatosely traumatized. So, what’s a man to do, but be hellbent on revenge? And, with no help from the local P.D., he has no choice but to go vigilante, with nothing but a sock full of quarters by his side, and a gleam of justice in his eye.
So, he roams the streets at night looking for gang activity, and is almost mugged, but gives the guy a good whacking and flees. Almost in disbelief of what he’s done (or capable of doing), he has a drink to calm his nerves, and starts to think of a different plan. But, he has to go out-of-state for business, and so his plans are put on hold. But, while there, his partner takes him to a shooting range, and even though Chuck hasn’t held a gun since his father’s death and the Korean War, he doesn’t seem to miss a beat. So, once business is done, his partner slips him a little going away present and he heads home.
His daughter, Carol, still has yet to get better, and to add fuel to the fire, he receives the vacation pictures in the mail. So, he hits the streets again, and thwarts another mugging, but this time with a gun. This becomes his nightly routine, and no place is safe for deviants to hang out anymore.
The police catch on pretty quick, and start riffling through the files looking for person and motive, which eventually leads to Chuck. But, the D.A. doesn’t want him caught, since he’s doing such a great job of cleaning up, but they want him to go away silently so it doesn't spark others to do the same. So, the local P.D. try to use a few scare tactics, but that just makes Chuck up his game.
And so, he’s able to take out a few more hooligans, but in the final showdown, he gets shot, and after a short stint in the hospital, he takes the advice of the inspector, and skips town to Chicago (an obvious set up for a whole new adventure).
If you don’t own this movie, you’re a sucker, and should immediately follow the Amazon link and make it a part of your collection. It’s well worth the 5 bucks spent, has a score by Herbie Hancock (remember Rockit?), and is fun for the whole family. Well, that part may not be true, but this is good, wholesome entertainment, and oh so grindhouseish. And, not that it needs it, but I guess Sly Stallone thinks it’s kick ass enough to give it a remake, which may don the big screen in 2011. I wonder who will play Chucky B, though, since there’s really no replacement for him?
Pick it up, love it, share it with a friend, laugh at the red spray painted butt scene and Chuck in his Speedo, and then talk yourself into buying #2. My friend, Paul, says it has “one of the best rape scenes ever,” and I almost questioned what comprised a good rape scene, but then quickly paused in thought, having realized I’d seen so many before that were done so horribly. Plus, taking the source into consideration, a wise man of his years, and a fellow perv with demented viewing preferences, I gotta take his word for it, and hope to get around to watching it sometime this year. But, Part 1 is still a classic for sure.
|
OVERALL RATING--3.5-- |
Jun 24, 2009
Devil Girl (2007)
It starts out with a grindhouse feel, the grainy picture, loud soundtrack, old/fast cars, and also seemed very reminiscent of Death Proof, but with a female driver this time. So, as I’m trying to get into it, I have my first WTF moment in the first 5 minutes, where a motorcycle pulls over, the dude takes off his helmet, and has a painted clown face. A clown? Did dude just get off work and head home before showering? I guess not all clowns travel/carpool in those really small cars with other clowns, but wouldn’t you know it, he ends up a little later in a VW Bug anyway.
Our Death Proof chick, Fay, is tough (you can tell by the leather jacket and the biker boots), likes to hustle at the pool hall, and show just how fast her car really is, taking suckers money left and right. The clown, although I'm not yet sure of his motive (maybe it’s hate of being a friggin clown, that would suck right?), goes through cars and people like there’s no tomorrow. He also has a liking for anything that will take him to an alternative world, whether it be snorted, smoked, inhaled, or popped. It’s still early in the movie, but I’m guessing the final showdown will be between the clown and the tough chick. But wait, then enters Devil Girl, but she's only there long enough to smoke a joint, and then she’s gone.
Fay’s ride runs out of gas, so she must hike to nearest town and stay the night until the mechanic can get to it. This is where she has her first face-to-face run-in with Mr. Clown, but nothing really happens, as he just stares at her kinda dumbfounded. See, when she stopped earlier to get gas, he stole her wallet, so in order to make money, she has to strip. She’s cute, slender, long-legged, and has a nice little set of perkies, which seems to please the local pervs, and earns her enough money to pay for her motel room. She learns the next morning that her fuel pump is shot, so she’ll have to spend a few more nights, and heads back to the club to make more dough.
Up comes WTF moment #2, when after a long night of taking off her clothes, Fay hears someone lurking outside her room, so she pulls a screwdriver out of her duffle bag for protection. A screwdriver? Who (but grease monkeys) carries a screwdriver with them? A knife, yes, a gun, yes, mace or a taser, yes, a beat stick, yes, a screwdriver, no (unless it's a phillips). Granted, a screwdriver can do some friggin damage, but there are more practical, compact weapons that one can conceal.
Devil Girl seems to pop up everywhere, in the club, in the church to haunt the local pastor, who seems to have an evil side (don't they all?), and finally, to Fay, who has a sexual interlude with her. Fay’s car gets fixed, and she gets back on the road, but not before she’s chased by the perv motel owner, and helped out by the clown. The movie ends with Donald (the clown), now a normal looking guy, in a mental institution surrounded by all of those who were major characters in the story, but who are actually his nurse, orderly, or fellow patients. Haven’t we seen this premise before?
But, despite the similarities to other films, I liked this much more than I thought I would. Maybe it was the lead actress, Jessica Graham, maybe it was the nudity, maybe it was the ridiculous clown, I can’t really pin-point it, but I liked it and would watch it again. And, as far as Mr. Clown goes, he’s like Rodney Dangerfield, and can’t seem to get any respect. He’s constantly thrown out of the strip club, gets evil glares from everyone around, and continually has to fight his demons, mostly drug induced. The words that come out of his mouth are ridiculous, redundant, and only at times, a little chuckle-worthy, and even though he tries to be as witty as Heath Ledger’s Joker, he doesn’t even come close to Jack Nicholson’s, but I still couldn’t hate him. I never quite understood why they chose a clown, but I guess that’s what one might see being overmedicated on prescription drugs. A friend once told me that when he dropped acid, he saw Smurfs breakdancing on the hood of his car, so I guess clowns don’t seem that far-fetched after all.
This film is worth a watch, and I can see big things in Jessica Graham’s future. She has the talent, and a certain stardom quality, that I think can help break her into the mainstream, that is, if that's what she wants. Give it a watch and let me know what you think.
|
OVERALL RATING--3-- |
Jun 16, 2009
Friday the 13th (2009)
The one thing I can’t figure out is why people have been telling me it’s the first 4 movies put together into 1. With the exception of a few scenes like his shrine to his mom, and listening to a character that only has a passing resemblance to Mrs. Voorhees, there wasn’t too much else that I saw and just thought to myself “holy crap that’s from one of the original movies.”
This has to be one of the better movies in the series and if you ask me it probably ranks in the top 5. This takes Jason and makes him a badass, don’t get me wrong he was freaking awesome before but something about the way he does things this time around; the way he kills people is a million times better than any other movie they made. He just seems more brutal and visceral in this movie than any of the others.
Oddly enough, no one had ever mentioned the fact we get to see Jason’s “house” in this movie. It caught me by surprise when it was first showed, but I do approve of it. For some reason the question of where Jason lives when he’s not out killing people or being stuck in the bottom of a lake never crossed my mind, but after seeing his lair it just seemed natural. I don’t want to ruin anything if you haven’t seen the movie but it’s like the bat-cave for a machete wielding psycho killer.
Also, if you though there was nudity in the other movies, you haven’t seen anything compared to this bad boy. Not only do we get to see 3 pairs (which ties the record for most in one movie in this series I do believe) but we see one girls set for more time than all the boobs in the first 4 movies combined. Don’t hold me to that as a real fact, I’m just saying you have a really good idea of what they look like by the time she’s dead.
I don’t know how much CGI was used in this movie, but nothing struck me as particularly CGIish. In my review for Freddy vs. Jason I talked about how it just seemed like they used CGI instead of trying to actually film some parts but I just didn’t get that feeling here. So either they didn’t use it as much, or they got a lot better in the time between the films.
This movie also really sucked me in. I’ll admit that the later in the series I got, the less the movies made me feel any emotion or hold my attention at some places. This one did just that though, I honestly at one point wondered how long I had been watching so I moved my mouse to show the time and I was at an hour, didn’t even feel like 30 minutes had passed. It’s just done in such a way that you never really get bored watching it, it just sucks you in.
The one negative thing I will point out is in the gas station. When they show the clerk, the things behind him are out of focus. Not something that would normally catch my eye, as it’s done in a lot of films because it keeps you focused on the character, but these are way out of focus. It’s like they used a funny lens just to distort them more or something. The same thing is done a few other times during the movie, but that scene really sticks in my head.
|
OVERALL RATING--4.5-- |
Jun 15, 2009
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Freddy vs. Jason starts off with a brief re-cap of the Nightmare on Elm Street series of movies. We learn that Freddy killed kids, then the parents killed him and that he then came back in dreams to kill kids until they learned that by not believing in him he loses all his powers. He makes a reference to Jason being his ticket out of hell (also a throwback to “Jason Goes to Hell”) and we start in on the movie itself. Just like most of the early Jason movies we have a counselor that get’s nude, runs through the forest, and then gets killed. It’s at this point Freddy appears as Jason’s mom and tells him he needs to get to Elm Street and start killing people in order to make them feel fear again. Jason takes off and we roll the quick intro credits.
I must admit that I really liked this movie. It must have something to do with being part of the new generation as K-Fleet calls it, because I also thought Rob Zombies re-make of Halloween was great and him not so much.
One of the things it does well is cover the whole Freddy/dream side of things and how they cover it up like they do in the Nightmare series. Very early in the movie the police try to keep the kids from even thinking of Freddy, this is one thing I do remember from the Nightmare films. This movie also incorporates the rhyme used while jumping rope and the little girls in the white dresses, both awesome nod’s towards the original movies, and something that had to be there or the film would have been horrible.
This movie also takes Jason and puts him on a new level of badassitude. In particular the scene where Jason walks through the rave and kills about 4 or 5 people over the course of 1 minute. Again this might just be me being part of the new generation of movie watchers but I loved this scene.
There were a few things about this film that I just didn’t like however. First off is Freddy becoming real. I can remember something about him being real in a few parts of the Nightmare movies, but I don’t remember him walking around and just killing like he does here. Also, some of the kills and some of the effects were just too CGI heavy. Don’t get me wrong, watching an Alice in Wonderland-Freddy-worm thing smoke a hookah is pretty sweet, but did it really need to be done? My last big problem with the film is the ending. If you do much research into the film, you’ll find out that about 4 other endings were considered at one point or another for the movie…..and all of them were better than this crap. Imagine that the ending was Freddy and Jason getting sucked down to hell and fighting in an arena of sorts, with the devil in the background watching. Now think of what the ending is here if you’ve seen the movie. Which one seems like a better ending to this movie?
|
OVERALL RATING--4-- |
JASON (VS. SPACE) X
Buy it now!!
|
OVERALL RATING--2-- |
Jun 12, 2009
JASON GOES TO HELL (ALONG WITH THE SERIES)
Buy it now!!
I think this was the first movie of the series where they really invested a great deal of money trying to capitalize on the other’s success. The feeling is similar to that of Clerks 2 in that the product was so much better when it wasn’t over thought. Bad actors is what made slasher’s great. Monster’s in masks and topless girls was the formula that made us what to cheer on kill scenes of the annoying archetypes we deal with in our everyday lives. Trading that for body jumping and slithering nonsense was just nonsense. Obviously the studio new this as they abandoned this as quickly as they took it on. The only really great moment of this movie was the dick tease ending with Freddy’s claws pulling the Jason mask to hell. After sitting through this again the idea of getting to do a review for Jason Vs. Space almost has me optimistic.
|
OVERALL RATING--1-- |
Jun 11, 2009
Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
The camera starts out on the grimy streets of Manhattan, but we’re quickly taken to Camp Crystal Lake where a couple of teens have snuck off on a boat to make out on the lake. Unbeknownst to them, Jason lies chained and dead below (covered in lake sludge), but is brought back to life when the boat anchor pierces an underwater power line. WTF? The lightning rod from Part 6 was a little far-fetched, but still more believable than resurrection by mind power (Part 7), or by a fluke electrical incident. But, Jason’s alive and kicking once again, takes a couple of lives, and then floats on the boat where he catches a cruise-liner full of freshly graduated teens. Jason needs a vacation too ya know.
So, rather than drink a Mai Tai and kick back and relax, Jason does what he knows best, KILL. All but five people get whacked, including the captain, and once they realize the ship can’t be saved, they hop on the rescue boat, a scene somewhat reminiscent from Titanic, but instead of Leonardo DeCaprio’s sad demise, the teens and their chaperones manage to make it to Lady Liberty. But, so does Jason, whose swimming abilities have improved since he was a kid.
So, with Jason now in the crowded city, he aims to clean up the streets, the subway (where he has a near-death scene by electrocution), and the sewer system, where the nightly toxic waste dumpage gets the best of him, and melts off his already deformed face.
This movie was a disaster, and even with the return of Kane Hodder as Jason, it was still a waste of time. Some would say Kane was the best Jason, the one that gave him personality, but that definitely wasn’t the case in this film. I also read that people were really pissed off after they saw Part 5 because it wasn't really Jason killing, shit, I’d have requested my money back if I paid to see this on the big screen. Even the director, Rob Hedden, doesn’t have a single worthy credit to his name, and this plays out like another film riding on the franchise's jock. Plus, that lame ass trailer says a lot too.
There wasn’t even a single kill that I felt good about. Death by guitar, death by hot sauna rock, death by mirror shard, how f-ing snoozy. And, the fact that young Jason continues to appear, both deformed and not, is ridiculous. The coolest character, but coolest in the lowest sense, is the all-wise deckhand who warns that “Jason has returned” and “death is near” numerous times.
After 25 minutes, I was ready to turn it off, at 54 minutes, I wanted to burn it, and at the end, I realized I just wasted and hour and a half of time that I could've been watching Sanford and Son reruns. Jeez, the sacrifices I make for the Side Show Review fans…
This film did have familiar faces, though, like TV veterans Peter Mark Richmond and Warren Munson, who you probably wouldn’t know by name, but by face, and you probably couldn’t name a single thing you’ve seen them in, even though their credits are vast. And, lead teen cuties Scott Reeves and Jensen Daggett pretty much stayed on the TV circuit after this film too.
This movie was garbage, and possibly the saddest entry into the series, and with only one boob and two bare butt scenes, my interest kept was minimal. Even with 17 kills, when there's a lack of blood and gore, you have to offset that with naked people (preferably women), and humor, that’s just how it is. But, if you have a lame story, crummy acting, ridiculous kills, minimal blood and gore, little to no skin, and almost no humor, then your film is bound to suck, no matter if you have Kane Hodder (or anyone else at that) donning Jason's mask. Shame on whoever wrote this piece of crap and tried to pawn it off as a Friday the 13th film. I know new ideas are hard to come by, but I’d have much rather seen old regurgitated stuff, than a far-fetched idea that sucked. Shit, "Jason plays poker," or "Jason takes a crap in the woods" would have been much more entertaining.
Smokeskrene believes that this film deserves at least a 3, if for no other reason than it having Kane Hodder, but I can’t be that generous. "Jason On A Boat" is not only off the charts on the Stink-O-Meter, but I kept waiting for T-Pain and Lonely Island to jump out and start singing, “I’m on a Boat, look at me (Pam), I’m on a motherf-in boat!” And then Jason breaks out into some footwork or the robot. Hee hee, that would be a great SNL or Robot Chicken skit.
|
OVERALL RATING--a very generous 2-- |
Jun 10, 2009
Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood
If you never saw the 6th film, just watch the first couple of minutes of the 7th one, it pretty much runs you through everything that happened. Great way of condensing about an hour and a half into 3 minutes. The film officially begins with a flashback of Tina, our main character. We quickly find out that she has telekinetic powers when she kills her dad. Back to present time we find Tina and her mom headed back out to Crystal Lake, in an attempt to figure out completely what is wrong with her with the help of her doctor, Dr. Crews. They don’t really get along that well and at one point Tina goes running out of the house and to the end of the dock. She uses her powers to wake up Jason, who immediately sets off. All that time under water has done wonders for Jason however, as his decayed suit and flesh makes for the most badass looking Jason yet in my opinion.
I’ve decided that the reason I don’t like this movie is the whole storyline and Tina. I understand that they did it to bring something new to the table, but for some reason I just don’t like the way they took it. Something about a psychic girl using her powers to fight Jason just sounds dumb when said out loud, how in the world did they ever get a green light to actually make this movie? And the ending, dumb is the only word I can think of to describe it. I won’t say anything to ruin it if you haven’t seen it, but just be ready to shake your head and be disappointed when/if you do watch it.
Also, where in the world does Jason get the 50 different weapons he uses during the film? He just randomly appears with one thing, then he has another, and another. At one point he walks out of the woods with a power saw on the end of a pole, granted it’s a really cool weapon to use. We never once see him really pick up a weapon, with the exception of an axe, he just appears out of the woods with them.
Also, random cat…..the hell? If you’ve seen this movie you know what I’m talking about, if not then go watch this movie and you’ll figure it out when it happens. Not sure if this is supposed to be a throwback to the second movie or what but either way it just didn’t seem to fit the flow of the movie.
Negativity aside, the movie does have some really cool things going for it. Tina’s visions of people dying were kind of sweet. I particularly like the one of her mom dying in the middle of the road she has while driving. This movie also has the coolest kill ever ala the sleeping bag death, nothing better in my opinion.
This movie also brought back nudity to the series, something that was oddly missing from the 6th one.
I also really like the character of Eddie. He’s the wannabe science fiction writer. Something about the scene where he wraps himself up in streamers and says something about Mummies in space just cracked me up.
|
OVERALL RATING--2-- |
Jun 9, 2009
Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives (1986)
Allen: Oh boy, he must have really messed you over.
Tommy: Yeah fuck you Jason.
Not sure why I love it so much, maybe it’s the fact someone says fuck you Jason, either way I just think it’s great stuff. As Tommy and Allen go to get the gasoline ready, lightning hits the pole and brings Jason back to life in a very Frankenstein way. Tommy throws the gasoline on an advancing Jason and then strikes a match, just in time for it to start raining. Jesus it must suck to live in a horror movie, just as you get the upper hand mother nature kicks you in the face.
Allen does attempt to end Jason’s life by hitting him over the head with a shovel, but this just pisses Jason off and he then puts his hand through Allen’s chest and rips out his heart. So 8 minutes and 16 seconds into the movie we already have a kill. All in all it’s a very cool scene to say the least. Tommy gets into his truck and drives off as Jason dons the mask that Tommy was nice enough to bring with him.
Overall the 6th movie was decent. It didn’t really do anything new and exciting for the series; it just stuck to the same old formula. It offered up plenty of gore, just as would be expected of a movie in the franchise. It does offer up the most “Jason” kills out of any of the movies up to this point, with the big man clocking in with 18 victims on his hands. All in all I would say it’s a movie worth picking up if you have seen the others in the series. It’s not one to watch more than a couple of times within a short amount of time however, as nothing that new or original happens in it. I almost fell asleep while watching this one again. But it’s very solid for what it is. The actors are believable, and I liked the cinematography. The big downside to this one is the lack of boobs. Now like I said I was really tired watching this one again, but not so tired I’m going to miss the fact I just watched a horror movie that had no boobs in it, everyone knows that’s the second most important part of a horror film next to the kills. I’ll still give it a 1 however because the girl that played Megan is really cute.
|
OVERALL RATING--3.5-- |
Jun 8, 2009
Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985)
Part 4 leads you believe that it was the end of Jason’s reign and finito to the Friday the 13th series, but realizing just how profitable this maniac was, a new one was released a year later. Now on it’s 4th director, Danny Steinmann, who also gave us The Unseen (1981) and Savage Streets (1984), Jason comes back with a different swagger and a blue striped hockey mask.
We pick up this time with an aged Tommy Jarvis, who’s still battling his demons over Jason Voorhees, and hanging out with the other loonies at the Pine Hurst mental facility, basically just a house in the woods with a couple of therapists. Much like Shelly from Part 3, fat-ass Joey (another white dude with a mini-fro), is an annoyance to everyone, and when he bugs temperamental Vic while chopping wood, he gets an axe in the back (a scene familiar to Don’t Look in the Basement). Within the first 26 minutes, we have five confirmed kills.
There’s really not a whole lot of character development in this one, yet so many people seemed familiar. Stuttering Jake reminds me of Duckie from Pretty in Pink, even though Part 5 predates it, Reggie’s brother, Demon, is a mix between Michael Jackson and Rick James (I’m Rick James Bitch!!), Pam looks like Ginny from Part 2, Violet is a clear reference to Blondie (and can break down a wicked robot), and Reggie looks like Little Red Riding Hood (and screams like a little girl when he sees the big bad wolf (Jason)).
After rewatching this, I think I may have figured out why I like this movie so much, it’s because of all the humor and the wide array of colorful characters. This was the first one that actually made me laugh, and Ethel and her retarded son, Junior, brought the most chuckles. This movie also hailed a couple of the most memorable kill scenes for me. When Jason wraps the strap around Eddie’s head, and then cranks it until it breaks, and when Ethel’s son is beheaded while erratically riding his motorcycle through the yard after getting his ass kicked by Tommy.
This movie will lead you to believe that it's possibly Tommy doing the killing (even though the size doesn't match up), but in the end, we find out that it’s Roy, Joey’s paramedic father, who after witnessing his slain son, puts his grief behind the mask with intent on massacring everyone. And, he does a good job of it until Reckless Reggie hits him with the front-end loader, he has a knife/chainsaw fight with Pam, and then he falls out off the barn window onto a bed of spikes with the help of Tommy. But, the last moments still leave open the possibility that Tommy may one day become Jason, or is it all just a bad dream?
So, Part 5: A New Beginning is clearly that, it’s a bit of a different direction for the franchise, but also a clear statement that they were in it for the long haul, eventually beating out every other killer in the genre in film count. And, out of all the other Friday films up to this point, it had the highest body count, totaling like 20, or one every 4.5 minutes, and also had the highest boob count, totaling 6, or 3 sets. I couldn't help but say, Damn, look at those fun bags, when Tina's donned the screen, and felt my lips pucker in a suckling motion.
As Smokeskrene pointed out, some may argue that it is not really a Friday the 13th film because it's misleading and wasn't actually Jason killing, well, I disagree, and think it's a fine addition in the series, and even though it's heavily flawed, and maybe even moreso than the others, it's still in my top 3, and very worthy of being in my collection.
So, if you are a TRUE fan of the series, you gotta pick it up. The reason I put the DVD link to the older release, rather than the reissue on June 16th, is because you can get the same content at a fraction of the price. And, if you don’t already own these movies, shame on you, and I highly recommend you buy the boxset which has Parts 1-8 and all the Killer extras. If you were wondering why you can’t get them ALL in one set in the U.S., it's because two different movie studios have the rights (Paramount and New Line), and neither want to sell. Screw making it easy for the fans when the all mighty dollar is at stake, but if done right, that would make a sweet collector's piece!!
|
OVERALL RATING--4-- |
FRIDAY THE 13TH THE FINAL CHAPTER
Buy it now!!
|
OVERALL RATING--4-- |
Jun 6, 2009
Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)
Part 3 not only marked a new direction for Jason, but also for the franchise, having been shown in theatres in 3D. Never having seen it "enhanced," my curiosity got the best of me and I bought a copy of the “Uncut” 3D version, even though I already had two other copies of the 2D movie. Well, no matter what we did (I watched it with my friend Lukas and his wife Cassandra), it was clear that the red/blue cardboard 3D specs were very lame and dated, and our viewing experience wasn't enhanced whatsoever, but actually made worse. So, we finished it in 2D, and laughed at the scenes obviously intended for 3D.
So, Jason is still hellbent on revenge, and has discarded the burlap sack, grown in size, lost all his hair (damn middle-aged testosterone levels), and now wears a Dickie’s work outfit instead of a flannel. But, once again, we have the familiar scenario, kids heading off to Camp Crystal Lake for a summer of fun in the sun, sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
And, like Part 1, we have another jokester, Shelly this time (chubby white dude with an afro who reminded me of the annoying wheelchair dude in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre), who annoys the hell out of everyone, and you’ll be happy to see killed off later in the movie. We also have another cute redhead, well, strawberry-brown, named Chris, played by Dana Kimmell, and yet another weird old man, who carries an eyeball given to him by Jason?, and who continues to warn of what might happen by going to the lake.
So, once they somewhat settle in at camp, Shelly and Vera make a run to the local grocery store, but have a run-in with a few bikers (black dude Ali, black chick Fox, and white dude Loco), who try to flex their muscle. When leaving, Shelly accidentally runs into their bikes with the VW Bug, which moments later, takes an ass whooping by Ali’s chain (tough people carry those types of things ya know). But, Shelly’s tired of being pushed around, and he runs over Ali’s bike, thus setting the stage for another retaliation. So, the bikers head to the camp with intent of burning down the barn, but are pitch-forked and wrenched to death instead.
While the jock (Andy) and his girl (Debbie) make out in a hammock, Chris tells her ex-boyfriend, Rick, about her first brush with Jason. Shelly plays another trick, but on Vera this time, and this is the first time we see the infamous hockey mask. Not enthused, Vera goes off on him, and he walks away with his tail between his legs, but Jason returns to the scene with the hockey mask and harpoon gun in tow (THE MOST ICONIC SCENE IN THE FRANCHISE!!), and Vera gets a 3D arrow through the left eye.
Now, back to Andy and his girl, who have finished playing hide the salami. She decides to take a shower (boob scene), while he goes to get beers (walking on his hands), a clear set-up for a sweet kill scene. She returns to the hammock to relax, but he doesn't (isn't it obvious what happened?), and she's killed with a machete through the chest from below (yet another scene similar to Part 1). I guess I never really realized just how similar Part 1 and 3 are until now. Sure, I remember familiar scenes, but I had never watched them back to back, which made it very obvious. I know, and I call myself a big fan...but there's a difference bewteen a big fan and a film nerd. :)
Anyway, waking up after a long day of bonging, the stoner couple get the munchies and cook popcorn, but then the lights go out. Stoner dude is asked to check the breaker box in the basement (set-up kill scene #2, YES!) and gets electrocuted, but hey, this corrects the light problem. Well, Shelly, returns to the house with a bloody neck, which is perceived as another gag, but this time, it’s for real. Moments later, stoner chick takes a hot poker through the mid-section, and Jason carries off her body, possibly using it later to stage another “discovery” by an unsuspecting victim.
So, this leaves Rick (the Brave) and Chris, but Rick soon dies by a head crushing, and we witness a Lucio Fulci-esque 3D eye popping scene. As Chris struggles to save her life, she manages to escape, not once, but multiple times, and Jason takes a little bit of a beating, not only stabbed, but also hung from a pulley. But, this not-of-this-world killing machine still isn’t dead, and even gives her a Nan Nanny Boo Boo look when he briefly takes off the mask as to say, “Yeah, Bitch, I’m still here, remember me?” But Ali, the presumed dead black biker dude from earlier, reappears, only to get hacked up with a machete. Jason then turns around, and gets an axe to the head by the hands of Chris, forever scarring the iconic thing that has made him feared to this day (the mask).
So, once again, we end with Chris in a canoe on the lake (remember Alice from Part 1), but instead of Jason coming out of the water, he’s seen in the house from afar, still alive, and coming to get his prey. But then, Pam comes out of the lake to restake her claim instead. Yet another dream? Only Chris knows, as she’s hauled away hysterical in a police car, and Jason still lies dead in the barn.
Ya know, I've seen this movie many times, and it's always an enjoyable experience. I can only hope that the 3D in hi-def will be better than the crap I witnessed a few months ago (but I’m not holding my breath). It's a great marketing ploy, but 3D can only really be appreciated on the big screen (right now at least), and I can only imagine how crude the 3D VHS version was. But, that still doesn’t take away from my love for Jason, or this film, and he’s still a badass mofo, whether in 2D, 3D, virtual reality, 4D, or even in space (Jason X). So, three reviews down, but plenty more to go.
|
OVERALL RATING--4-- |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
