So, after a fairly crappy night's sleep, I got up at 9am and started watching movies. Since I recently bought a few for a friend, I thought I'd sneak in a preview before passing them on and collecting my dough. Geez, it seems like forever since I posted anything, but work has take it’s toll (and keeps taking), plus I haven’t really had any inspiration. So, I thought, let’s ride this pony again and see where it takes us.
First up was Scandalous Gilda, the debut release from the new indie company One 7 Movies. It was okay, and had several boob and bush scenes, problem is, neither of the females were very pretty, but luckily, were blessed with bodies to drool for (*wipes mouth*). While this movie plays out like a familiar Italian love/hate story, there was a bit more quirkiness. See, the lead actress (Monica Guerritore) hooks up with a guy who just so happens to be a cartoonist, so embedded in a mediocre story of revenge through sexual gluttony, is a cleverly placed animated featurette, where a community of male genitalia celebrate the arrival of Scandalous Gilda. Although it lasted maybe only two minutes, it was the major takeaway from the film for me, AND, it's not everyday you get to see cartooned ding-dongs (which make me laugh).
Another familiar face is Gabriele Lavia, better known for her role in Dario Argento’s Deep Red, but will steal your attention during the opening scene. I applaud One 7 for the great transfer, and even with an incomplete English audio track, it dances circles around most Mya Communications releases. The biggest downfall, however (much like Mya), is that no special features are offered. But hey, it’s their first venture, so I'll cut em a little slack, in hopes that things will only get better with their release of Sins of Madam Bovary and Chinese Kamasutra in January.
I suggest you give Scandalous Gilda a chance, and help support this budding new company in a time where others are shuttering or consolidating (bye bye Code Red in 2011). It’s trying times, so if you want to continue to see unreleased Eurocinema, screw relying on Netflix to stream it, just buy the damn thing. Hell, you can always resell it if you hate it, and you'll sleep well at night knowing you just contributed to a worthy campaign. Besides, can you really go wrong with Edwige Fenech and Joe D’Amato? Don’t front, open your wallet today! For a more in-depth review of Scandalous Gilda, visit Cinesploitation.
My second feature of the day was Inner Sanctum with Tanya Roberts, and it was presented in it's true early 90's VHS glory, although it was on DVD (an Asian import). The picture was a little muddy (VHS quality upverting from my Blu Ray player), and Tanya’s accent and dialog were ridiculous. But hey, it is what it is, and Tanya pops the twins out several times, which is really the matter of importance. Our bodacious vixen's best line is:
“I hate to upset your apricot, but I don’t like being taken for a chump.” Diehard fans of Ms. Roberts should enjoy it, otherwise save your money and buy a ridiculously expensive copy of Beastmaster (now out-of-print).
I also watched another Tanya flick called Purgatory, which is a sad attempt at a women in prison feature, and I really don't remember a damn thing about it (aside for the boobies). Then again, these features are highly forgettable anyway, and I was writing this post while watching it. Again, you’ll see Tanya in all her naked glory, but you’ll have to have a region-free DVD player in order to view it, as it has yet to be released in the states. The DVD will cost you $20 or more, whereas the VHS is about 5 bucks plus shipping, so rejuvenate that old top loader!
It wasn’t the most productive or compelling day of movie watching I've had, but dang it, I got three watched, AND a post up, so I feel pretty accomplished. The holidays (which started in September) have been brutal, so thanks for bearing with me. I have an assload of movies to watch, and while most would be overwhelmed by the plethora, I'm an ass-kickin mo fo like Charles Bronson, so I can't be faded. Stay tuned for more reviewing/bashing, and thanks for reading!
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